Let Freedom Ring!

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend! Thursday night was Fairport Harbor's annual Mardi Gras parade. Carter slept through all the ear piercing fire truck sirens and woke up to enjoy the rest of the festivities. He amazes me with his ability to sleep through anything! Friday, Steven had off of work. We hung out outside. Saturday, we went to a picnic at my aunt's house and went to the fireworks in Mentor. Carter loved them! We now know that loud noises do not scare him! Yesterday, we spent the day at the Mardi Gras. Carter got to pick a duck and won a prize...it was so cute! He was more interested in the duck than the ball he had won. Steven took him over and let him choose colors on the color game. He can say "poop" now, so we assumed he would pick brown every time, but he picks lots of colors! It was a fun day. Later on, we went to watch Fairport's fireworks with the family. Carter slept through them...but they were very nice!

Today, Steven took the day off to help me. I slept until 10:30!! I am hoping we can go for a walk a little later and maybe do some yard work. We will see what the day brings!!

Sleeping through the sirens!

Mommy and her sleepy head!

The boys comtemplating a chugging contest...
which didn't end well.

Steven and I at Mardi Gras.

Picking colors for daddy.

Picking a duck with Nana.

Sacked out after all the excitement

Picture of Carter and I before fireworks.
(Taken by a 3 year old!)

Smash!

I survived a parenting nightmare on Friday afternoon. I had Carter and my friend in the Escalade. We were leaving the doctor's office and were stopped at a stop light. All of a sudden, I glanced in my mirror and SMASH! We were rear-ended. We were hit by the AT&T truck. He was going about 25 mph and never hit his brakes. I was pushed into the car in front of me, but the guy just drove away. Carter immediately began screaming...so of course I spazzed out. He was OK...just very scared. The AT&T guy got out of his truck, asked if we were all OK and apologized. He called the cops and we had to give statements and stuff. My truck seems to be alright. There is just a small scratch in the rear bumper. His front bumper was in pretty bad shape. I am going on Tuesday to the Progressive Claim Center for an estimate and to have the frame checked for damage. I am going to take Carter to the doctor, just to be sure...since he can't tell me if anything is wrong. But other than that, thank God we are OK.

I was told that it is illegal to use a car seat once it has been in an accident. AT&T is independently insured, so they will have to give us money to buy a new one. Kinda handy since Carter is ready to be moved to a convertible car seat. He is getting too tall for his carrier. So, any car seat suggestions are appreciated.

Still no word on being pregnant. Steven is going back out later for tests because I have none. I will update as soon as I can.

UPDATE: Maybe next month.

Wishful Thinking...

OK...so I have been feeling very strange lately. I've had quite a few twinges and cramps and tickles in my tummy. I figured it was in my head and I have been desperately trying to remind myself of the degree of my infertility. Well today my friend Mandy said "oh no...I think you might've started your period." I had on white capris and bled through a bit. I went to change and "take care" of it...and it was just a few light spots and nothing else. That was this morning before I left for my massage. Still no more blood. I am cautiously thinking wishfully that maybe it could have been implantation bleeding. I had it with Carter, so that was the 1st thing I thought of today.

I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, expecting to be pregnant. I will be able to test over the weekend just to get an answer. Wouldn't it be cool though?!

Clear the Roads!

I accidentally ended up at BRU today while shopping for Steven's Father's Day gift, a gift certificate to the tattoo parlor. (I am impatient and gave it to him already, LOL!) When he told me about the place, I thought he said it was on Rt. 20...well, I drove about 15 miles going 30 mph. on Rt. 20 and couldn't find it. Then I remembered that Steven's friend Rick went with him when he got his last tattoo...but I didn't have his phone number. So, I called our old roomate Casey and he gave it to me. I called Rick and he told me where the tattoo parlor was...nowhere near Rt. 20! I was about 20 minutes away and not even in the right town. I should listen more carefully. This time my awesome communication skills cost me 1/4 tank of gas.

While I was waiting for Casey to call me back with the number, I figured we'd browse in BRU for a bit. I had Carter with me, so we tested the walkers. He has a walker, but even on the highest setting, his torso can hang over the top of the seat if he leans forward. That and the fact that if he stands up in it and leans forward, he is able to get his foot up into the seat. I spaz out when he does it. I am so afraid he'll fall out. We also have to watch him because he can reach to the end of the tray...if he gets too close to any of the furniture, he can pinch his fingers. When he does, he screams bloody murder. Not good. Anyway, I bought him what is, in my opinion, the perfect walker. It raises much higher than the old one, and he can't reach to the end of the tray to pinch his fingers. As an added bonus, it has the coolest toys attached to it! They move and play music! He loves it...and I totally loved the price. Most car-type walkers are around $100...this one was only $55 after my 15% discount coupon! Totally awesome buy for any of you mommys looking for a good quality walker.

Carter's new ride! A Jeep Liberty Renegade!!

"Yeah, I'd like a number 1 with no pickles..."

Looking for a good place to go off-roading.

Carter Phelps...the gold medalist.

I decided at BRU yesterday that it was really hot and Carter needed a pool. So, I spent $6 on a little wading pool that was a total hit with the little man. I took a few pictures and thought I'd share them...he's getting so big!

(Carter in his pool for the 1st time.)

(Trying to figure out the water.)

(Did you think he'd go anywhere without
one of his Yo Gabba Gabba toys?)

(Tuckered out after a long swim.)

We're still alive...

Hello! We are ok. Just wanted to post to let you know why I haven't been around much. But first, Carter would like to type...he is waiting patiently...

kc b vnt bhgffffghju vfdddccchjkhyyyyyyyyyyyg

He's very smart. Anyway, life has been hectic, to say the least. I am crazy for thinking that 6 credit hours would be an easy work load for a stay-at-home mom. Ha! Any time I am not doing things of a motherly nature, I am catching up on school work...I am always behind. And the assignments never end! I have a 3 page paper due at midnight...I haven't even read the chapters yet. So, basically I should be doing more reading, less blogging and facebooking, lol!

OK, I am off to feed Carterman his lunch, then Uncle Corey and Nana are going to hang with him here so I can go get him a sippy cup (doctor insisted), juice, and pudding from BRU. Then, if I have time, I'll try to get in some homework, lol!

God Blessed The Broken Road...

We are back in NY this weekend. My dad was having his annual deck party on Saturday, but got called into work, so he had to cancel. Last week, I read my essay in church and promised I would sing this Sunday. We decided to come to NY anyway...the congregation would have been crushed had I not sang. For some reason, they enjoy it when I sing, LOL. It is my gift...the least I can do is share it. As a "part 2" to my essay, I sang "Bless The Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts. It is a very special song to me because Steven and I chose it as the 1st dance at our wedding reception. As my life continues to unfold, that song just keeps playing over and over. I had a rough road, but God certainly knew what He had planned for me and I am so blessed. I looked over at Steven when I was singing and it brought tears to my eyes. I am so thankful for what my boys give to me every day.

We will be heading home tomorrow with our new lawn tractor in tow. Then its back to my wonderful every day life...but now with lots of homework since I started Summer courses last week. I could use some prayers...they always get me through!

I will post new pics and video when I can.

10 Years Later.

We are going to NY this weekend, so I thought I'd better post while I have the time. We will be coming home late Monday, so I will be pretty tired Tuesday.

Tuesday marks the 10 year anniversary of the car accident that left me paralyzed. I wrote an essay about my life since, which I will be reading in church on Sunday. It is long and maybe a little boring, but I wanted to share it with my internet family. Words cannot express what all of your love and encouragement has meant to me. Thank you.

10 Years Later
by: Candice Butchino

May 26, 1999. It was the day that changed my life. It started out as any other day. I was an 11th grade student that had no cares and no responsibility. Like most other high schoolers, I thought I was invincible. By the end of that day, I would be proven wrong. At 3 o’ clock, I chose to go for a joyride with a classmate in his brand new Ford Mustang. It seemed harmless. About 15 minutes later, I lay upside down, suspended by my seatbelt in a pile of wreckage that was unrecognizable as the sports car it once was. At that time, I chose to make my peace with God. I couldn’t move my arms and legs. I was going to die. God had other plans for me. Plans that were much bigger than I could’ve understood at that moment in my life.

I arrived at the hospital and was taken to surgery as my friends and family prayed for my life. My broken neck was fused and a halo vest was screwed into my skull to ensure that I would not move. Shortly after, I regained a small amount of movement in my arms. That was such a giant step. I was still very naïve and thought I would be back to my normal active self in a few weeks. It was just a broken bone…it would heal.

After 90 grueling days in the hospital, I was sent home. I was wheelchair bound and literally thought my life had stopped in its tracks. My mom was such a wonderful blessing. She was with me every hour of every day. I was still optimistic about my chances of walking. After all, the doctors did give me 2 years to regain movement. I had plenty of time.

In the next year, I graduated high school and devoted myself to physical therapy. I worked very hard every day. I did, however, give up on my social life. I felt that nobody would really want to hang out with me, especially boys. I convinced myself that nobody could possibly love me the way I was. I tried to accept it, but still longed to be loved. I just thought that was something I had to live with now.

The 2nd year came and went. May 26, 2001 was a very hard day for me. Time was up. It was officially a thought in my head that I may never walk again. Things changed that day. My mind became very jaded and negative as I began to prepare myself to give up on everything I had dreamed of as a child. I would never accept a beautiful diamond from my dream man as he took 1 knee and asked me to be his wife. I would never wear that beautiful white gown and take his breath as the church doors opened. I would never feel my unborn baby move in my tummy. I would never experience the unconditional love that is given from a child. As much as it broke my heart, I had to face these realities. It would be a true miracle if I would ever see these things in my future.

In June of 2001, Steven came to visit me with a friend. I knew from the beginning that I was experiencing true love, which could only mean 1 thing…true heartbreak was in my near future. Right away, I tried putting walls up…and began thinking of ways to push him away so I wouldn’t fall for him any further. For some reason, each challenge I put in front of him he tackled like it was no big deal. He made sure that I knew that my disability was of absolutely no concern to him, nor did he find it to be a burden. He always made sure I would experience all the things that I may have not experienced before he was a part of my life. In true high school fashion, Steven asked me to be his girlfriend on July 31, 2001. Although I was happy, I was still very scared, and even convinced, that he would not stick around for long.

Before I knew it, year 2 was over. I prayed every night that God would keep Steven in my life. On July 30, 2002, all of my childhood dreams began coming true. While out for our 1st anniversary dinner, Steven took 1 knee and gave me the diamond I used to imagine when I was a little girl. I was not sure of the future, but I knew that I would be sharing it with someone that God put in my life to be my strength and carry me through the rough parts.

On November 25, 2006, I put on my beautiful white gown and took a moment to pray in the church bathroom. I thanked God for not giving up on me. I thanked him for being there even when I wished he would go away. But mostly, I thanked him for the angel he had sent for me…the angel that was about to become my husband. With shaking hands and tear filled eyes, I was taken down the aisle by my mom and dad. I will never forget that day. I didn’t know it then, but the photographer had snapped a picture of Steven as the church doors opened for me to come down the aisle. His face was more than I could’ve ever imagined in my dreams.

The next year proved to be very tough on us. We had talked so much about having a family, we just wanted it to be on our own time. When we were ready, we expected that it would just happen. After a year of disappointment, we decided to see a specialist. Those appointments were always filled with bad news. Every test came back with a few more cards that were stacked against us. Not only did we have problems conceiving, but if we ever did, a uterine defect would make it very hard for me to carry a baby long enough for it to survive. We prayed about it many times and God just kept telling me not to give up. So I fought and prayed that I would someday give birth to a strong healthy baby. There were times when I felt that maybe God had a different plan for me than I had for myself. I somehow always felt that He was giving me the strength I needed to keep trying.

On October 29, 2008, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with 10 fingers, 10 toes, and the cutest lips I had ever seen. The only problem was that he wasn’t due until December 19th. Almost 2 months premature, Carter John Butchino came into the world fighting. At only 3 pounds, 14 ounces, he had a long road ahead of him. For the next 2 weeks, we prayed and prayed that we would be able to bring our baby home. Each day, I would drive 30 miles to spend the day with him in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Doctors were amazed at Carter’s development. Every day, he grew bigger and stronger. I will never forget the nurse’s words when I arrived at the NICU on November 13th. “You can bring Carter home tomorrow.” I just picked him up and cried as I told him how proud I was to be his mommy. The next day, as we arrived at home and placed Carter in his crib, I silently thanked God. I thanked him for the strength he gave all 3 of us to get to that very moment. After all we had been through and all the storms we had weathered, my life was everything I had ever dreamed…and so much more.

So, as I sit here 10 years later, I can say that I wouldn’t change any of the events that have happened in my life. I have built such a special relationship with God and I know that He was there with me every step of the way. People often ask me if I could go back to May 26, 1999 and choose to take the other road in life, would I? To them it may seem complex or maybe even stupid, but my answer is no. I was blessed with a wonderful mother that took care of me even when I wished she would just go away forever. Her love and devotion to me has made me the mother I am today. I was blessed with a husband that never let the rough times get me down. He has been there to make me laugh, even through the worst of times. I was blessed with a perfect son that has his daddy’s nose and my attitude. These have all given me reasons to believe that these last 10 years were all worth it.

Most people consider “witnessing a miracle” to be something they want to do before they die. What I hope to achieve with my story is to let the world know that miracles happen every day. All you have to do is pray and know that with God, all things are possible…and when life hands you lemons, make some lemonade!

Diapees n Wipees

We finally broke down this weekend and bought a BJ's membership. Diapers and Wipes are so much cheaper there...not to mention everything else. We stocked up on batteries as well...my camera and camcorder are always dead when I need them. I have rechargables, but sometimes I need a second set...disposable batteries are better for that.

While we were at BJ's, I also got all my school supplies. I can't believe classes start in 9 days! I am just so nervous about how I will handle being a SAHM and a student. Please pray for me. Luckily, only 2 of the 4 courses I need to graduate are offered over the summer. So, I will be taking "Mass Media and the Law" and "Programs, Programming, and Affects". They shouldn't be too difficult. Then, next semester, I have 2 general education courses and I will be a free woman!! Yayyy!!

Thursday night, I hit a giant milestone. Steven had gone to basketball, leaving Carter and I alone. After about 1 hour, I started to smell something...coming from Carter's diaper! I thought to myself "Oh no. I can't change him by myself. What do I do?" I did what any mother would've done. I got over the "I can't" and I changed him...all by myself! About an hour later, he pooped again...so I changed him again!! This is such a big deal because it was the only thing my disability stopped me from doing for Carter in the past. He was so good and so patient with me. I am proud of us both! Now I know we can handle anything together!!

Here are a few recent pics of the Carterman...

Eating Foofa.

He loves trying to feed himself.
Here he is after applesauce and a cookie.

Before his 1st walk in the stroller.

After his first walk in the stroller! Knocked out!

My 1st Mother's Day

Blessed.

That is the only word I can use to describe yesterday. Just having a beautiful healthy baby boy was enough for me, but Steven and Carter went way above and beyond for me. I woke up to a card from each of them. Then I got a handprint in clay that they did together. Steven did all the housework and mowed the lawn. I got to shower as long as I wanted to and relax all day! It was awesome!! I am so thankful that I have these beautiful boys in my life. I only hope I can continue to be the mom and wife they deserve.

My Mother's Day gift!

Love them so much!

Morning cuddle session!

Mommy the Scholar

I just got the official re-acceptance email from my old college, SUNY Oswego!! When Steven and I got married and bought our house in Ohio, I was 2 semesters shy of my bachelors in Broadcasting and Mass Communications with a minor in Spanish. I made the not-so-smart decision to quit school and move out of state.

A few weeks ago, I emailed admissions just out of curiosity. I got an email today that everything I need to graduate is offered online. I have been emailing back and forth all day getting everything in order. I start classes on May 26th and should be all done by Christmas!

I am so excited. I worked so hard in college...now I know it wasn't for nothing.

Carter says hi!

Jumpy jump jump...

(The title is from a Yo Gabba Gabba song...that show runs my life.) Here is a video of Carter doing what he does best.

(He always makes that face when he concentrates.)

Everything is mommyhood is great. Carter gets bigger every day and has gotten very good at yelling "mom!" when he feels that my attention has strayed from him at all. It is actually very cute. Today we went to Toys R Us to get Carter's friend Niko a birthday present. They share a Yo Gabba Gabba obsession and I made the mistake of showing Carter one of the few YGG toys he doesn't have. He smiled, reached for it, and put it straight in his mouth as if to say "thanks mom...its mine now because I marked it with my spit." So...I bought it. Had to. You try telling him no.

This weekend is going to be a busy one. Now that the weather is nice, we need to get outside and fix up the lawn. And by "we", I mean "Steven"...since I can't. I will be there to supervise and make sure everything looks good. We also have to go back to TRU because their infant's jeans are on clearance and Carter really needs some. Hopefully Steven and I can get some alone time in the next 2 days...sometimes I feel like we are strangers. There is always so much to do, and when we have downtime, we kinda want to do things for ourselves. I don't think we intentionally do it, but we often put our marriage on the back burner. I wouldn't trade my life for the world though...I love my boys and I am so blessed!

Hope everyone has an awesome weekend!!

6 Months Old.

Carter is 6 months old today. As happy as it makes me to see him hit new milestones, I am sad. This time is just flying by. I promised myself that I would hold him and play with him for every second of his babyhood...but it isn't by any means "slowing down time". I am really going to miss these days, but I thank God that I can look back at them saying "I was there for every minute."

It Won't Be Like This For Long
by: Darius Rucker

He didn't have to wake up
He'd been up all night
Layin’ there in bed listenin’
To his new born baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says
It gonna be OK

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon we'll look back laughin’
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
‘Cause it won't be like this for long

Four years later ‘bout 4:30
She's crawling in their bed
And when he drops her off at preschool
She's clinging to his leg
The teacher peels her off of him
He says what can I do
She says now don't you worry
This’ll only last a week or two

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon you'll drop her off
And she won’t even know you're gone
This phase is gonna fly by
If you can just hold on
It won’t be like this for long

Some day soon she'll be a teenager
And at times he'll think she hates him
Then he'll walk her down the aisle
And he'll raise her veil
But right now she's up and cryin’
And the truth is that he don't mind
As he kisses her good night
And she says her prayers

He lays down there beside her
‘Til her eyes are finally closed
And just watchin’ her it breaks his heart
Cause he already knows

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah, this phase is gonna fly by
So, he's tryin’ to hold on

‘Cause it won’t be like this for long

It won’t be like this for long.

Every morning when I wake up...

(Notice how he is completely upside-down in his crib...and his onesie is inside out. Steven was so tired when he dressed him that he didn't even notice!)

2009 March for Babies

The walk was great! There were thousands of people there, many of them with beautiful preemies of their own. All together, we were able to raise $330 for Team Carter!! The walk was 4 miles...all of which my wonderful lovely perfect husband walked, pushing Carter and me. I swear the thing was uphill both ways! Did I say that my husband is awesome?? The walk went right through Browns Stadium...and that could set a Steelers fan on fire...but he did it nonetheless! Carter slept for about 1 mile or so. Maybe I should've slept, too! Anyway, we had a blast and we are very proud of ourselves. I got very emotional because many people were there in memory of their babies...we were there in honor of ours. It could've been the other way around and I am just so thankful to God for giving Carter the strength he needed to survive. I am so blessed and proud to be his mommy. We will be making this walk a family tradition every year.

Here are some pictures of the day. Steven also got video of me crying but I am not posting it. He thought I was crying because Kmart raised $17 million, but I wasn't. I was just having an emotional moment because a little boy walked by wearing a shirt that said "In Memory of My Twin". That was very sad, so I started crying...at the same time the emcee announced that Kmart had raised $17 million. Steven is sticking to his story...I'm sticking to mine ;)

Getting ready to go into the ampitheatre.

Team Carter 2009

Me and my preemie!

Now do you see why we call him "Mini-Me"
He is a spitting image of Steven!

I just love those big blue eyes!

My big boy!

Team Carter

I went to Michael's today to see if they had iron-on stuff to make t-shirts for Steven, Carter, and me for the March of Dimes walk this weekend. I didn't really want transfers that you print on from the computer because I think they look cheesy and they usually peel right off after one wash. I was very excited when I went down their iron-on aisle...everything was on sale!! So...I got t-shirts for Steven and me and a long-sleeved onesie for Carter. Then, I cleaned them out of pink and blue block letters! It was actually kinda fun. I got to be creative. I decided to put Carter's gestational age when he was born so people can recognize him as a preemie...plus I am just so proud of how far he has come in just 6 short but wonderful months.

Here are our shirts. We will be one stylin' family this Sunday!

If you would like to help, you can sponsor our walk by going to http://marchforbabies.org/mommy2carter. It is an excellent cause and I truly believe in their motto, that one day, all babies will be born healthy. Thank you for all of your support, whether you donate or not!

Easter baskets and basketballs...

My awesome husband just went out and got me one of those crazy USB cables with attachments in every size. I really love him...he knows me so well! Now I only have to keep track of one cord!!

Anyway, here are some of the pics from my camera...

Our loot after the Easter Bunny came.
He gets me a basket every year.

Carter's 1st Easter basket.

Before church on Easter.

Carter on Easter...all dressed up!

Carter's 1st walk.

Bailey came too. Yes, I'm wearing slippers.

Future Cavalier!

Just like everything else, right in the mouth!

That is what we've been up to! Hope you enjoyed them!

Because I knew you'd want to see it...

This year's birthday gift...

My camera wire is still missing, so Easter pics are still being held for ransom. The suspect is a blue Kodak, about 6" tall and weighing about 1/2 pound. If you have any information on this crime, please call 1-800-MOM-ARAZZI. Thank you.

Steven got me a digital camcorder for my birthday! I am super excited! Here is a video of...well, nothing much. This is a completely normal occurance at our house. Its what my boys do best. Notice that Carter found a new Gabba friend.

(Mommy is not quite a master videographer yet.)

207.

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of my positive beta.

I will NEVER get a better birthday present!

AHHHHHHH!

Its just been one of those days...where you know that it can't get any worse, then it does! Nothing serious...just very annoying! I would love to open a window and scream as loud as I can, then lock myself in a closet from the inside so nobody can find me!

Except, of course, for him.

All that really matters!

Every Little Bit Helps!

The March of Dimes Walk for Babies is coming up in 2 weeks!! Steven, Carter, and I are participating and we are in need of sponsors. If you are in a position to help at all, please go to my personal page to donate. Our goal is to raise at least $250 to help other families with sick or premature babies. Someday all babies will be born healthy...and this is how you can help the March of Dimes make this possibility a reality! Thank you!!

Boo! Scared you!!

Here I am! Did you think I was dead?! Actually, I told you all that I wanted to play hide & seek...well, I hid...you never seeked! LOL, j/k...but here I am.

The past couple weeks have been super hectic. Carter is teething, but no teeth have cut yet...he's miserable. And on top of that, he woke up today with a cold. He's sniffling and stuffy. Poor guy. I am praying that he feels better soon. Then maybe we could get some sleep, too!

Last week, my mother-in-law came to visit from Wednesday to Sunday. It was nice because she gave us a lot of relief and I was able to read the 1st half of New Moon. Yes, I am now officially dating Edward Cullen. Steven doesn't mind. Anyway, After she left, we had to go Mon-Thurs...then we were off to NY. My dad paid for our trip because he wanted to see Carter. So, we spent Friday and most of Saturday there, then went to my mother-in-laws. We left late Sunday night to come home.

Today, I drove halfway back to NY to pick up Steven's little brother so he could spend Spring Break with us. He will be here until next Sunday...then we will bring him back halfway and meet my mother-in-law to make the old switcheroo. We do it often. It isn't as bad as it sounds. Its about 2 hours and 15 minutes for me...which I drove alone today. I must say, it was the most relaxing alone time I have had since October!

So...that's what I have been up to. My camera cord is MIA, so here is an oldie but goodie...my last preggo pic...

Me and my mama about 3 days before I popped!

1 whole year...

Carter and our other angel - 3/30/08

Carter was conceived exactly 1 year ago. On March 30, 2008, I had 17 eggs retrieved and 12 ICSIed. 3 days later, 2 of my beautiful embryos were given back to me. One of them went to heaven. I believe that my little angel knew that my body couldn't handle a multiple pregnancy. He loved his brother so much that he went to be with God so Carter could survive. I know it sounds dumb...but all of my embryos are my babies and I love them all. It is hard to think that 1 of them did not survive. I know that Carter has a special angel looking over him.

Walk it out...

We got Carter a walker last weekend and I must say that it is going better than expected! He knew exactly what to do when we put him in it and his little legs were just a-goin'! It wasn't until mommy came back down to earth and realized that he'd be able to move if his socks weren't making him slip and slide all over. So...after removing his socks, he took off. I can't believe that he can do it so well at 5 months old!! And of course the momarazzi caught it on camera!

Cruisin'

"Outta my way!"

My poor baby is teething right now...and we just found out that he has a little ear infection. The doctor said it would probably go away on its own, but decided that it would be best to put him on antibiotics, so he isn't more uncomfortable than he needs to be. He seems ok...just a little more cranky than normal. Thankfully, my mother-in-law is visiting from NY. She is a big help, along with my mom, of course.

Hangin' with Brobee in his seat.

Bouncing the poopy out...

Carter always poops when my friend Mandy holds him. It's weird, but she just has that effect on him! Today, she was telling him to bounce the poopy out and he just thought that was the funniest thing. Sorry about the poor video quality. There was a glare from the window.

Carter's extra Brobee came today. He looked so confused when I showed him both at the same time...then it turned into a love fest!

"Can you believe it mom??
This is the best day of my life!"

I would also like to thank Sue Z for sponsoring me in the March for Babies! To help me out, you can visit my March of Dimes page here.

March for Babies

I am doing the 2009 March of Dimes March for Babies. I know these days the economy isn't great, so I completely understand that many families are unable to donate. I would like to ask that if you are in a position to sponsor my participation in this year's walk, please do so at my personal page. Thank you so much...if we can help even 1 family, it will all be worth it.

I just added the donation widget for the March for Babies to my blog. Scroll down and to the right of this page if you would like to give. Thanks again!

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Hope you all find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I know I have! I was lucky enough to have him strapped to my chest via BabyBjorn most of the day...except to take a pic of him in his festive attire.

Carter's 1st St. Patrick's Day

Update

We just got back from the pediatrician. Hold on...let me tell you about my situation first.

I have a medial tear. The doctor explained that after having a vaginal delivery, your skin stretches, making it thinner and weaker. In my case, not being able to feel my actual skin down there as well as most women, a small irritation resulted in an actual tear. It has already started healing, so he gave me the choice of attempting to stitch it and it not work, or continue letting it heal on its own. To avoid any more Autonomic Dysreflexia, I decided against the stitches. He sent me home with some Darvacet and told me to give it 2-3 weeks to heal fully.

As we were changing Carter's diaper in the OB's exam room, I noticed a giant rash on his tummy. I asked the OB what he thought and he said "Its Roseola. Totally viral. They're gonna send you home and give you nothing for it. Bet me." So, I decided to call the pedi...just in case. Guess what...it's viral. They sent us home with nothing. Go B-Rad.

So, now mommy and baby are right where they belong...snuggling on the couch watching Octo-mom on Dr. Phil. We've had a rough day.

On a lighter note...I wanted to share this picture with you. Whenever Carter isn't feeling well, or is tired or crying, all I have to do is put my nose to his nose and he closes his eyes and falls asleep. Every time, without fail. This is by far my favorite part of being Carter's mommy. I love the bond that we share and no matter how old he gets, I will always remember snuggling noses with him.

Off to the OB.

This post contains TMI. Read on if you want, but I clearly warned you.

I am getting ready to head out to the OB. Ever since I got my IUD, I have had excess amounts of discharge. At times, it almost looks as though I peed my pants...its that bad. This discharge has been causing little raw spots on my vagina. This weekend, I started getting symtoms of Autonomic Dysreflexia...which for someone with a Spinal Cord Injury is the body's response to extreme pain. I felt pain on my vagina as well, so I knew something was up. Sure enough, I have a tear. I honestly have no idea where it came from. It was fine on Thursday, and I haven't had sex since then, so it can't be that. I am in pain and at a loss for what it could be, so B-Rad wants to see me. I am fearing the worst...that the cause lies deeper than just the IUD. I am praying that it is something that can be fixed easy and prevented in the future. I am definetly having the IUD removed. My body has changed immensely since I got it and I just have a bad feeling about it.

Anyway, I will update as soon as I can. Please say a prayer for me.

Where'd my baby go?

My little bear on his way to the pediatrician.

Mr. Curious playing in his Bumbo.

As Carter grows, I find myself wondering where my little baby went. He is getting so big and is making such huge strides every day. I know my little 3 pound preemie is long gone...and I am so proud of him every day. He amazes me.

Carter had his 4 month well-visit this past Thursday. He weighs 12lbs 3oz (10-15 percentile) and is 25 inches long (15-25 percentile). He had to have 1 oral vaccine and 4 injected...but they put 2 in each syringe, so he escaped with only 2 shots. As he was laying on the table, I grabbed his little hand. He looked at me and laughed...as I smiled back, he began his non-sense baby talk. All of a sudden, he stopped and at the top of his lungs, yelled "Ma!" My friend Mandy had come with us so I didn't have to take him for shots alone. We both just looked at each other wide-eyed! She's like, "Did he just say what I think he said? He was looking right at you!" I am really still having a hard time believing it, but I'm pretty sure my little angel has said his first word!! I am still waiting to hear him say it again...it was the sweetest thing I have ever heard.

I just got done paying some bills and ordering a second Brobee for Carter. I am nervous because he threw up on Brobee yesterday, so I had to put him in the wash. Well, the black on his eyes started coming off. I'd color it back on, but Carter puts Brobee in his mouth, so I really can't. In the event of the eyes coming off completely and looking totally scary, I can just make a quick swap...hopefully Carter won't even notice. He and Brobee are inseparable these days, so I'd better have an extra in case of emergency. I'd hate to witness the meltdown that would result in Brobee and Carter being taken away from each other.

"Oh Brobee...what would we do without you??"

This weekend we are going to enjoy some family time. I'd love to pop Carter in the Bjorn and go for a walk if the sun stays out. My mom is making her famous Chicken Paprika today, so we are really looking forward to that. I believe the boys will be watching Syracuse in the Big East Tournament later on...so mommy will be enjoying a movie and some chocolate by herself. I love my boys to pieces, but I must say that my mommy time is something I enjoy, too. Things can get hectic around here. But at the end of the day, I look at my family and know just how blessed I really am!

A True Friend.

Last year, I was desperate to find other women going through my same situation. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't met Sarah at Gas Passer AKA UUer. I really can't remember how I found her blog, but I am so thankful to God that I did.

Having a Uterine Abnormality isn't really very common in the blog world...and definitely not in the offline world. When I found Sarah, I took comfort in knowing that I had someone who could relate to what I was going through. I got much more than that as we became friends. We both began our IVF cycles and talked daily, through our blogs or email. There were days when I wanted to turn back and give up, and her support (along with many others) gave me the strength I needed to get through. We both got our BFPs...and then the craziness began for us both...

Midway through both of our pregnancies, our uteruses (uteri?? uti??) began to turn on us. I began contracting at 5 months and my water broke at 31 weeks. Meanwhile, Sarah's contractions were full force and we were both admitted to the hospital. Sarah was placed on the world's most impossible diet and was on total hospital bedrest. She fought so hard for her baby girl, going through whatever it took to keep her safely inside. Her determination was amazing and it made me fight even harder for Carter.

After both our babies were born, we were faced with being NICU moms, which as many of you know, can be a roller coaster ride and bring you through every emotion humanly possible. Reading comments from my blog friends meant the world to me during this tough time...and commenting on every post, Sarah always had something to make me feel like everything was going to be ok...even when I thought it wouldn't.

When Brynn was in the NICU, Carter had already come home. I almost felt that my NICU days were still upon me as I read Sarah's posts about all of the ups and downs that her family was experiencing. I felt such relief when Brynn was released...and then she took a turn for the worse and ended up back in the hospital. I made it my mission to pray for Brynn's health as much as I possibly could. Sarah was a friend in need and I wanted to do for her what she had done for me when I needed it. Finally, the day had come and Brynn had been released...happy and healthy. She is such a strong girl and such a fighter. She absolutely got that from her mommy...and I am thankful to have been a part of their crazy ride!

Even now, as our little miracles grow, I look to Sarah when I have questions. I feel like I have known her all my life and she is one of my most trusted friends. As I was reading her blog today, I saw that she had mentioned me...and it brought tears to my eyes. Sarah, I wouldn't be the mom that I am if I had not witnessed all you went through. You gave me strength and an appreciation for the beautiful miracles in my life. Thank you.

Back to normal.

Our house is finally back to normal! Well, the floor people have to come back Monday to do the grout by the back door, but for the most part, we are done.

Living Room

Kitchen

Carter's Room

The pic of Carter's room was taken with my cell phone, that's why it is blurry. I will post pics of my room once it is painted and we get the new comforter put on the bed. Who knows when that will happen?? I am so glad the floors are all done. It was definitely a time consuming project, but it was worth it.

Everything is well in mommyhood. I think Carter is in the beginning phase of teething. He is drooling like crazy and everything that goes in his hands goes straight to the mouth. We got him a couple teethers and he seems to like chomping on them, so that is good. His favorite thing to put in his mouth is his Brobee. Then he apologizes with a snuggle.

I had my 4 month post baby OB appointment on Thursday. I didn't get my exam and pap because I had the flu this past week and still didn't trust all my bodily functions...ya know. I was like, "Look B-Rad. (His name is Brad...Steven nicknamed him.) I am advising you to not go anywhere near that particular region...its been a bit unpredictable." He agreed that we should wait until next month. Good idea. He is a bit concerned that the last period I had was when I got my IUD in December. He put me on Provera, which I am all too familiar with, and hopes that it will jump-start my hormones. I bet not. If not, he wants to do bloodwork to check my hormones. He really feels like I may be able to get pregnant on my own next time. How sweet would that be? I am not, nor will I ever be, convinced. I have too many cards stacked against me...but I will humor him. Before I left, he made me take a pregnancy test...just because I have missed 2 periods in a row. He laughed when I said "If that thing is positive, you may as well admit me now." Glad we can joke about my horrific delivery! So...next month, we will begin trying to figure out my body...pshhhh...did they ever find the Lost City of Atlantis? Bigfoot? The Lochness Monster? They did...right?

Anyway, we are just resting this weekend...after a crazy week. Hope you all are doing the same! Talk to you soon!!

This is where it all began...

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of my very first IVF injection. Last year on March 2, I started my cycle with Lupron. I will never forget that day. So many emotions went through my head as Steven gave me that first shot. I was excited, nervous, hopeful, relieved, and scared...among many other things.

If you would have told me that this is where I would be exactly one year later, I probably wouldn't have believed you. Yesterday, my beautiful baby boy turned 4 months old. He is growing and getting smarter every day. I can't begin to express in words the love I have for him. I see such a bright future when I look into his eyes and I feel honored and humbled that God has given me the huge responsibility of raising such a precious miracle. Carter is my world and I am just so thankful that things worked out exactly the way that they did. I wouldn't change one detail.

As for my night without Carter, I did suprisingly well. I didn't cry at all...but I did wake up every hour, expecting to hear him through the monitor. Steven and I were able to enjoy each other without interruption, so that was nice. I can't remember the last time I went to bed that early!!

The floors are still not done! The guys are here now working on them. There is a chunk in the kitchen that isn't done, then the whole 3rd bedroom. They are hoping that it will be done today, but said that they might have to finish up tomorrow. This went from being a 4 day project to taking over a week. I am so glad its almost over. I will post pictures when it is all done and the house is clean and back in order...if the end is even in sight!!