1 whole year...

Carter and our other angel - 3/30/08

Carter was conceived exactly 1 year ago. On March 30, 2008, I had 17 eggs retrieved and 12 ICSIed. 3 days later, 2 of my beautiful embryos were given back to me. One of them went to heaven. I believe that my little angel knew that my body couldn't handle a multiple pregnancy. He loved his brother so much that he went to be with God so Carter could survive. I know it sounds dumb...but all of my embryos are my babies and I love them all. It is hard to think that 1 of them did not survive. I know that Carter has a special angel looking over him.

Walk it out...

We got Carter a walker last weekend and I must say that it is going better than expected! He knew exactly what to do when we put him in it and his little legs were just a-goin'! It wasn't until mommy came back down to earth and realized that he'd be able to move if his socks weren't making him slip and slide all over. So...after removing his socks, he took off. I can't believe that he can do it so well at 5 months old!! And of course the momarazzi caught it on camera!

Cruisin'

"Outta my way!"

My poor baby is teething right now...and we just found out that he has a little ear infection. The doctor said it would probably go away on its own, but decided that it would be best to put him on antibiotics, so he isn't more uncomfortable than he needs to be. He seems ok...just a little more cranky than normal. Thankfully, my mother-in-law is visiting from NY. She is a big help, along with my mom, of course.

Hangin' with Brobee in his seat.

Bouncing the poopy out...

Carter always poops when my friend Mandy holds him. It's weird, but she just has that effect on him! Today, she was telling him to bounce the poopy out and he just thought that was the funniest thing. Sorry about the poor video quality. There was a glare from the window.

Carter's extra Brobee came today. He looked so confused when I showed him both at the same time...then it turned into a love fest!

"Can you believe it mom??
This is the best day of my life!"

I would also like to thank Sue Z for sponsoring me in the March for Babies! To help me out, you can visit my March of Dimes page here.

March for Babies

I am doing the 2009 March of Dimes March for Babies. I know these days the economy isn't great, so I completely understand that many families are unable to donate. I would like to ask that if you are in a position to sponsor my participation in this year's walk, please do so at my personal page. Thank you so much...if we can help even 1 family, it will all be worth it.

I just added the donation widget for the March for Babies to my blog. Scroll down and to the right of this page if you would like to give. Thanks again!

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Hope you all find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I know I have! I was lucky enough to have him strapped to my chest via BabyBjorn most of the day...except to take a pic of him in his festive attire.

Carter's 1st St. Patrick's Day

Update

We just got back from the pediatrician. Hold on...let me tell you about my situation first.

I have a medial tear. The doctor explained that after having a vaginal delivery, your skin stretches, making it thinner and weaker. In my case, not being able to feel my actual skin down there as well as most women, a small irritation resulted in an actual tear. It has already started healing, so he gave me the choice of attempting to stitch it and it not work, or continue letting it heal on its own. To avoid any more Autonomic Dysreflexia, I decided against the stitches. He sent me home with some Darvacet and told me to give it 2-3 weeks to heal fully.

As we were changing Carter's diaper in the OB's exam room, I noticed a giant rash on his tummy. I asked the OB what he thought and he said "Its Roseola. Totally viral. They're gonna send you home and give you nothing for it. Bet me." So, I decided to call the pedi...just in case. Guess what...it's viral. They sent us home with nothing. Go B-Rad.

So, now mommy and baby are right where they belong...snuggling on the couch watching Octo-mom on Dr. Phil. We've had a rough day.

On a lighter note...I wanted to share this picture with you. Whenever Carter isn't feeling well, or is tired or crying, all I have to do is put my nose to his nose and he closes his eyes and falls asleep. Every time, without fail. This is by far my favorite part of being Carter's mommy. I love the bond that we share and no matter how old he gets, I will always remember snuggling noses with him.

Off to the OB.

This post contains TMI. Read on if you want, but I clearly warned you.

I am getting ready to head out to the OB. Ever since I got my IUD, I have had excess amounts of discharge. At times, it almost looks as though I peed my pants...its that bad. This discharge has been causing little raw spots on my vagina. This weekend, I started getting symtoms of Autonomic Dysreflexia...which for someone with a Spinal Cord Injury is the body's response to extreme pain. I felt pain on my vagina as well, so I knew something was up. Sure enough, I have a tear. I honestly have no idea where it came from. It was fine on Thursday, and I haven't had sex since then, so it can't be that. I am in pain and at a loss for what it could be, so B-Rad wants to see me. I am fearing the worst...that the cause lies deeper than just the IUD. I am praying that it is something that can be fixed easy and prevented in the future. I am definetly having the IUD removed. My body has changed immensely since I got it and I just have a bad feeling about it.

Anyway, I will update as soon as I can. Please say a prayer for me.

Where'd my baby go?

My little bear on his way to the pediatrician.

Mr. Curious playing in his Bumbo.

As Carter grows, I find myself wondering where my little baby went. He is getting so big and is making such huge strides every day. I know my little 3 pound preemie is long gone...and I am so proud of him every day. He amazes me.

Carter had his 4 month well-visit this past Thursday. He weighs 12lbs 3oz (10-15 percentile) and is 25 inches long (15-25 percentile). He had to have 1 oral vaccine and 4 injected...but they put 2 in each syringe, so he escaped with only 2 shots. As he was laying on the table, I grabbed his little hand. He looked at me and laughed...as I smiled back, he began his non-sense baby talk. All of a sudden, he stopped and at the top of his lungs, yelled "Ma!" My friend Mandy had come with us so I didn't have to take him for shots alone. We both just looked at each other wide-eyed! She's like, "Did he just say what I think he said? He was looking right at you!" I am really still having a hard time believing it, but I'm pretty sure my little angel has said his first word!! I am still waiting to hear him say it again...it was the sweetest thing I have ever heard.

I just got done paying some bills and ordering a second Brobee for Carter. I am nervous because he threw up on Brobee yesterday, so I had to put him in the wash. Well, the black on his eyes started coming off. I'd color it back on, but Carter puts Brobee in his mouth, so I really can't. In the event of the eyes coming off completely and looking totally scary, I can just make a quick swap...hopefully Carter won't even notice. He and Brobee are inseparable these days, so I'd better have an extra in case of emergency. I'd hate to witness the meltdown that would result in Brobee and Carter being taken away from each other.

"Oh Brobee...what would we do without you??"

This weekend we are going to enjoy some family time. I'd love to pop Carter in the Bjorn and go for a walk if the sun stays out. My mom is making her famous Chicken Paprika today, so we are really looking forward to that. I believe the boys will be watching Syracuse in the Big East Tournament later on...so mommy will be enjoying a movie and some chocolate by herself. I love my boys to pieces, but I must say that my mommy time is something I enjoy, too. Things can get hectic around here. But at the end of the day, I look at my family and know just how blessed I really am!

A True Friend.

Last year, I was desperate to find other women going through my same situation. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't met Sarah at Gas Passer AKA UUer. I really can't remember how I found her blog, but I am so thankful to God that I did.

Having a Uterine Abnormality isn't really very common in the blog world...and definitely not in the offline world. When I found Sarah, I took comfort in knowing that I had someone who could relate to what I was going through. I got much more than that as we became friends. We both began our IVF cycles and talked daily, through our blogs or email. There were days when I wanted to turn back and give up, and her support (along with many others) gave me the strength I needed to get through. We both got our BFPs...and then the craziness began for us both...

Midway through both of our pregnancies, our uteruses (uteri?? uti??) began to turn on us. I began contracting at 5 months and my water broke at 31 weeks. Meanwhile, Sarah's contractions were full force and we were both admitted to the hospital. Sarah was placed on the world's most impossible diet and was on total hospital bedrest. She fought so hard for her baby girl, going through whatever it took to keep her safely inside. Her determination was amazing and it made me fight even harder for Carter.

After both our babies were born, we were faced with being NICU moms, which as many of you know, can be a roller coaster ride and bring you through every emotion humanly possible. Reading comments from my blog friends meant the world to me during this tough time...and commenting on every post, Sarah always had something to make me feel like everything was going to be ok...even when I thought it wouldn't.

When Brynn was in the NICU, Carter had already come home. I almost felt that my NICU days were still upon me as I read Sarah's posts about all of the ups and downs that her family was experiencing. I felt such relief when Brynn was released...and then she took a turn for the worse and ended up back in the hospital. I made it my mission to pray for Brynn's health as much as I possibly could. Sarah was a friend in need and I wanted to do for her what she had done for me when I needed it. Finally, the day had come and Brynn had been released...happy and healthy. She is such a strong girl and such a fighter. She absolutely got that from her mommy...and I am thankful to have been a part of their crazy ride!

Even now, as our little miracles grow, I look to Sarah when I have questions. I feel like I have known her all my life and she is one of my most trusted friends. As I was reading her blog today, I saw that she had mentioned me...and it brought tears to my eyes. Sarah, I wouldn't be the mom that I am if I had not witnessed all you went through. You gave me strength and an appreciation for the beautiful miracles in my life. Thank you.

Back to normal.

Our house is finally back to normal! Well, the floor people have to come back Monday to do the grout by the back door, but for the most part, we are done.

Living Room

Kitchen

Carter's Room

The pic of Carter's room was taken with my cell phone, that's why it is blurry. I will post pics of my room once it is painted and we get the new comforter put on the bed. Who knows when that will happen?? I am so glad the floors are all done. It was definitely a time consuming project, but it was worth it.

Everything is well in mommyhood. I think Carter is in the beginning phase of teething. He is drooling like crazy and everything that goes in his hands goes straight to the mouth. We got him a couple teethers and he seems to like chomping on them, so that is good. His favorite thing to put in his mouth is his Brobee. Then he apologizes with a snuggle.

I had my 4 month post baby OB appointment on Thursday. I didn't get my exam and pap because I had the flu this past week and still didn't trust all my bodily functions...ya know. I was like, "Look B-Rad. (His name is Brad...Steven nicknamed him.) I am advising you to not go anywhere near that particular region...its been a bit unpredictable." He agreed that we should wait until next month. Good idea. He is a bit concerned that the last period I had was when I got my IUD in December. He put me on Provera, which I am all too familiar with, and hopes that it will jump-start my hormones. I bet not. If not, he wants to do bloodwork to check my hormones. He really feels like I may be able to get pregnant on my own next time. How sweet would that be? I am not, nor will I ever be, convinced. I have too many cards stacked against me...but I will humor him. Before I left, he made me take a pregnancy test...just because I have missed 2 periods in a row. He laughed when I said "If that thing is positive, you may as well admit me now." Glad we can joke about my horrific delivery! So...next month, we will begin trying to figure out my body...pshhhh...did they ever find the Lost City of Atlantis? Bigfoot? The Lochness Monster? They did...right?

Anyway, we are just resting this weekend...after a crazy week. Hope you all are doing the same! Talk to you soon!!

This is where it all began...

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of my very first IVF injection. Last year on March 2, I started my cycle with Lupron. I will never forget that day. So many emotions went through my head as Steven gave me that first shot. I was excited, nervous, hopeful, relieved, and scared...among many other things.

If you would have told me that this is where I would be exactly one year later, I probably wouldn't have believed you. Yesterday, my beautiful baby boy turned 4 months old. He is growing and getting smarter every day. I can't begin to express in words the love I have for him. I see such a bright future when I look into his eyes and I feel honored and humbled that God has given me the huge responsibility of raising such a precious miracle. Carter is my world and I am just so thankful that things worked out exactly the way that they did. I wouldn't change one detail.

As for my night without Carter, I did suprisingly well. I didn't cry at all...but I did wake up every hour, expecting to hear him through the monitor. Steven and I were able to enjoy each other without interruption, so that was nice. I can't remember the last time I went to bed that early!!

The floors are still not done! The guys are here now working on them. There is a chunk in the kitchen that isn't done, then the whole 3rd bedroom. They are hoping that it will be done today, but said that they might have to finish up tomorrow. This went from being a 4 day project to taking over a week. I am so glad its almost over. I will post pictures when it is all done and the house is clean and back in order...if the end is even in sight!!