We are going to NY this weekend, so I thought I'd better post while I have the time. We will be coming home late Monday, so I will be pretty tired Tuesday.
Tuesday marks the 10 year anniversary of the car accident that left me paralyzed. I wrote an essay about my life since, which I will be reading in church on Sunday. It is long and maybe a little boring, but I wanted to share it with my internet family. Words cannot express what all of your love and encouragement has meant to me. Thank you.
May 26, 1999. It was the day that changed my life. It started out as any other day. I was an 11th grade student that had no cares and no responsibility. Like most other high schoolers, I thought I was invincible. By the end of that day, I would be proven wrong. At 3 o’ clock, I chose to go for a joyride with a classmate in his brand new Ford Mustang. It seemed harmless. About 15 minutes later, I lay upside down, suspended by my seatbelt in a pile of wreckage that was unrecognizable as the sports car it once was. At that time, I chose to make my peace with God. I couldn’t move my arms and legs. I was going to die. God had other plans for me. Plans that were much bigger than I could’ve understood at that moment in my life.
I arrived at the hospital and was taken to surgery as my friends and family prayed for my life. My broken neck was fused and a halo vest was screwed into my skull to ensure that I would not move. Shortly after, I regained a small amount of movement in my arms. That was such a giant step. I was still very naïve and thought I would be back to my normal active self in a few weeks. It was just a broken bone…it would heal.
After 90 grueling days in the hospital, I was sent home. I was wheelchair bound and literally thought my life had stopped in its tracks. My mom was such a wonderful blessing. She was with me every hour of every day. I was still optimistic about my chances of walking. After all, the doctors did give me 2 years to regain movement. I had plenty of time.
In the next year, I graduated high school and devoted myself to physical therapy. I worked very hard every day. I did, however, give up on my social life. I felt that nobody would really want to hang out with me, especially boys. I convinced myself that nobody could possibly love me the way I was. I tried to accept it, but still longed to be loved. I just thought that was something I had to live with now.
The 2nd year came and went. May 26, 2001 was a very hard day for me. Time was up. It was officially a thought in my head that I may never walk again. Things changed that day. My mind became very jaded and negative as I began to prepare myself to give up on everything I had dreamed of as a child. I would never accept a beautiful diamond from my dream man as he took 1 knee and asked me to be his wife. I would never wear that beautiful white gown and take his breath as the church doors opened. I would never feel my unborn baby move in my tummy. I would never experience the unconditional love that is given from a child. As much as it broke my heart, I had to face these realities. It would be a true miracle if I would ever see these things in my future.
In June of 2001, Steven came to visit me with a friend. I knew from the beginning that I was experiencing true love, which could only mean 1 thing…true heartbreak was in my near future. Right away, I tried putting walls up…and began thinking of ways to push him away so I wouldn’t fall for him any further. For some reason, each challenge I put in front of him he tackled like it was no big deal. He made sure that I knew that my disability was of absolutely no concern to him, nor did he find it to be a burden. He always made sure I would experience all the things that I may have not experienced before he was a part of my life. In true high school fashion, Steven asked me to be his girlfriend on July 31, 2001. Although I was happy, I was still very scared, and even convinced, that he would not stick around for long.
Before I knew it, year 2 was over. I prayed every night that God would keep Steven in my life. On July 30, 2002, all of my childhood dreams began coming true. While out for our 1st anniversary dinner, Steven took 1 knee and gave me the diamond I used to imagine when I was a little girl. I was not sure of the future, but I knew that I would be sharing it with someone that God put in my life to be my strength and carry me through the rough parts.
On November 25, 2006, I put on my beautiful white gown and took a moment to pray in the church bathroom. I thanked God for not giving up on me. I thanked him for being there even when I wished he would go away. But mostly, I thanked him for the angel he had sent for me…the angel that was about to become my husband. With shaking hands and tear filled eyes, I was taken down the aisle by my mom and dad. I will never forget that day. I didn’t know it then, but the photographer had snapped a picture of Steven as the church doors opened for me to come down the aisle. His face was more than I could’ve ever imagined in my dreams.
The next year proved to be very tough on us. We had talked so much about having a family, we just wanted it to be on our own time. When we were ready, we expected that it would just happen. After a year of disappointment, we decided to see a specialist. Those appointments were always filled with bad news. Every test came back with a few more cards that were stacked against us. Not only did we have problems conceiving, but if we ever did, a uterine defect would make it very hard for me to carry a baby long enough for it to survive. We prayed about it many times and God just kept telling me not to give up. So I fought and prayed that I would someday give birth to a strong healthy baby. There were times when I felt that maybe God had a different plan for me than I had for myself. I somehow always felt that He was giving me the strength I needed to keep trying.
On October 29, 2008, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with 10 fingers, 10 toes, and the cutest lips I had ever seen. The only problem was that he wasn’t due until December 19th. Almost 2 months premature, Carter John Butchino came into the world fighting. At only 3 pounds, 14 ounces, he had a long road ahead of him. For the next 2 weeks, we prayed and prayed that we would be able to bring our baby home. Each day, I would drive 30 miles to spend the day with him in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Doctors were amazed at Carter’s development. Every day, he grew bigger and stronger. I will never forget the nurse’s words when I arrived at the NICU on November 13th. “You can bring Carter home tomorrow.” I just picked him up and cried as I told him how proud I was to be his mommy. The next day, as we arrived at home and placed Carter in his crib, I silently thanked God. I thanked him for the strength he gave all 3 of us to get to that very moment. After all we had been through and all the storms we had weathered, my life was everything I had ever dreamed…and so much more.
So, as I sit here 10 years later, I can say that I wouldn’t change any of the events that have happened in my life. I have built such a special relationship with God and I know that He was there with me every step of the way. People often ask me if I could go back to May 26, 1999 and choose to take the other road in life, would I? To them it may seem complex or maybe even stupid, but my answer is no. I was blessed with a wonderful mother that took care of me even when I wished she would just go away forever. Her love and devotion to me has made me the mother I am today. I was blessed with a husband that never let the rough times get me down. He has been there to make me laugh, even through the worst of times. I was blessed with a perfect son that has his daddy’s nose and my attitude. These have all given me reasons to believe that these last 10 years were all worth it.
Most people consider “witnessing a miracle” to be something they want to do before they die. What I hope to achieve with my story is to let the world know that miracles happen every day. All you have to do is pray and know that with God, all things are possible…and when life hands you lemons, make some lemonade!
Tuesday marks the 10 year anniversary of the car accident that left me paralyzed. I wrote an essay about my life since, which I will be reading in church on Sunday. It is long and maybe a little boring, but I wanted to share it with my internet family. Words cannot express what all of your love and encouragement has meant to me. Thank you.
10 Years Later
by: Candice Butchino
by: Candice Butchino
May 26, 1999. It was the day that changed my life. It started out as any other day. I was an 11th grade student that had no cares and no responsibility. Like most other high schoolers, I thought I was invincible. By the end of that day, I would be proven wrong. At 3 o’ clock, I chose to go for a joyride with a classmate in his brand new Ford Mustang. It seemed harmless. About 15 minutes later, I lay upside down, suspended by my seatbelt in a pile of wreckage that was unrecognizable as the sports car it once was. At that time, I chose to make my peace with God. I couldn’t move my arms and legs. I was going to die. God had other plans for me. Plans that were much bigger than I could’ve understood at that moment in my life.
I arrived at the hospital and was taken to surgery as my friends and family prayed for my life. My broken neck was fused and a halo vest was screwed into my skull to ensure that I would not move. Shortly after, I regained a small amount of movement in my arms. That was such a giant step. I was still very naïve and thought I would be back to my normal active self in a few weeks. It was just a broken bone…it would heal.
After 90 grueling days in the hospital, I was sent home. I was wheelchair bound and literally thought my life had stopped in its tracks. My mom was such a wonderful blessing. She was with me every hour of every day. I was still optimistic about my chances of walking. After all, the doctors did give me 2 years to regain movement. I had plenty of time.
In the next year, I graduated high school and devoted myself to physical therapy. I worked very hard every day. I did, however, give up on my social life. I felt that nobody would really want to hang out with me, especially boys. I convinced myself that nobody could possibly love me the way I was. I tried to accept it, but still longed to be loved. I just thought that was something I had to live with now.
The 2nd year came and went. May 26, 2001 was a very hard day for me. Time was up. It was officially a thought in my head that I may never walk again. Things changed that day. My mind became very jaded and negative as I began to prepare myself to give up on everything I had dreamed of as a child. I would never accept a beautiful diamond from my dream man as he took 1 knee and asked me to be his wife. I would never wear that beautiful white gown and take his breath as the church doors opened. I would never feel my unborn baby move in my tummy. I would never experience the unconditional love that is given from a child. As much as it broke my heart, I had to face these realities. It would be a true miracle if I would ever see these things in my future.
In June of 2001, Steven came to visit me with a friend. I knew from the beginning that I was experiencing true love, which could only mean 1 thing…true heartbreak was in my near future. Right away, I tried putting walls up…and began thinking of ways to push him away so I wouldn’t fall for him any further. For some reason, each challenge I put in front of him he tackled like it was no big deal. He made sure that I knew that my disability was of absolutely no concern to him, nor did he find it to be a burden. He always made sure I would experience all the things that I may have not experienced before he was a part of my life. In true high school fashion, Steven asked me to be his girlfriend on July 31, 2001. Although I was happy, I was still very scared, and even convinced, that he would not stick around for long.
Before I knew it, year 2 was over. I prayed every night that God would keep Steven in my life. On July 30, 2002, all of my childhood dreams began coming true. While out for our 1st anniversary dinner, Steven took 1 knee and gave me the diamond I used to imagine when I was a little girl. I was not sure of the future, but I knew that I would be sharing it with someone that God put in my life to be my strength and carry me through the rough parts.
On November 25, 2006, I put on my beautiful white gown and took a moment to pray in the church bathroom. I thanked God for not giving up on me. I thanked him for being there even when I wished he would go away. But mostly, I thanked him for the angel he had sent for me…the angel that was about to become my husband. With shaking hands and tear filled eyes, I was taken down the aisle by my mom and dad. I will never forget that day. I didn’t know it then, but the photographer had snapped a picture of Steven as the church doors opened for me to come down the aisle. His face was more than I could’ve ever imagined in my dreams.
The next year proved to be very tough on us. We had talked so much about having a family, we just wanted it to be on our own time. When we were ready, we expected that it would just happen. After a year of disappointment, we decided to see a specialist. Those appointments were always filled with bad news. Every test came back with a few more cards that were stacked against us. Not only did we have problems conceiving, but if we ever did, a uterine defect would make it very hard for me to carry a baby long enough for it to survive. We prayed about it many times and God just kept telling me not to give up. So I fought and prayed that I would someday give birth to a strong healthy baby. There were times when I felt that maybe God had a different plan for me than I had for myself. I somehow always felt that He was giving me the strength I needed to keep trying.
On October 29, 2008, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with 10 fingers, 10 toes, and the cutest lips I had ever seen. The only problem was that he wasn’t due until December 19th. Almost 2 months premature, Carter John Butchino came into the world fighting. At only 3 pounds, 14 ounces, he had a long road ahead of him. For the next 2 weeks, we prayed and prayed that we would be able to bring our baby home. Each day, I would drive 30 miles to spend the day with him in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Doctors were amazed at Carter’s development. Every day, he grew bigger and stronger. I will never forget the nurse’s words when I arrived at the NICU on November 13th. “You can bring Carter home tomorrow.” I just picked him up and cried as I told him how proud I was to be his mommy. The next day, as we arrived at home and placed Carter in his crib, I silently thanked God. I thanked him for the strength he gave all 3 of us to get to that very moment. After all we had been through and all the storms we had weathered, my life was everything I had ever dreamed…and so much more.
So, as I sit here 10 years later, I can say that I wouldn’t change any of the events that have happened in my life. I have built such a special relationship with God and I know that He was there with me every step of the way. People often ask me if I could go back to May 26, 1999 and choose to take the other road in life, would I? To them it may seem complex or maybe even stupid, but my answer is no. I was blessed with a wonderful mother that took care of me even when I wished she would just go away forever. Her love and devotion to me has made me the mother I am today. I was blessed with a husband that never let the rough times get me down. He has been there to make me laugh, even through the worst of times. I was blessed with a perfect son that has his daddy’s nose and my attitude. These have all given me reasons to believe that these last 10 years were all worth it.
Most people consider “witnessing a miracle” to be something they want to do before they die. What I hope to achieve with my story is to let the world know that miracles happen every day. All you have to do is pray and know that with God, all things are possible…and when life hands you lemons, make some lemonade!
11 comments:
You are amazing and Carter is so lucky to have you as a mother!
That is a beautiful post! Thank you for sharing it.
Incredible story thanks for sharing. Steven & Carter are two lucky boys to have your determination in there corner! In my experience as an occupational therapist I find that its not that the patients w/ the most determination have the best outcomes, its that those patients fair the best no matter their outcome. You are a a strong woman!
wow. Am a new reader and am just amazed by your story!!
This post just floored me- you are a incredible in so many ways.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
You are a proof of God's Love and His Miracles.
Thank You for sharing this with us, it was an honour reading it.
I had to fight the tears multiple times while I read this at work today.
A true inspiration to me to live a better life, full of gratitude and grace. I've known you are amazing, Candi- just never how amazing.
Its a beautiful essay - thank you for sharing it with us. You have amazing strength and grace. And congratulations on the diapering success! That post brought tears to my eyes.
Thanks for your recent comment but I can say with confidence I have the utmost pride to be your friend. I had my husband read your story tonight and he wanted to reply as Mr. s.e. as he remembers a comment you wrote him once ...
What a woman.
What an amazing story and inspirational. For sure one of the strongest women I know. I can’t even imagine all you took on but to come out and have all the things you hoped and dreamed about is awesome and heart touching. Thank you for sharing.
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