Umm...ouch.

OUCH!! I am in so much pain right now. My left ovary feels like it is on fire and it looks and feels like I have a softball in there. The right one is pretty tingly, but not too bad. I honestly don't think I can do this very much longer. I may not have to...had my blood work today. Dr. A's office called and told me to reduce my Follistim to 100iu and be there at 8:15 tomorrow for more blood work and an ultrasound. For some reason, I didn't get one today. Apparently the stims are working, though...since I am reducing my dosage. I just hope that I am almost done. I'm not sure if I can do this much longer. I am solely relying on the power of prayer...so throw one out there for me, please!

Does this Follistim make me look fat??

The stims are kicking in...and I am totally bloated. I have an appointment on Monday to check my levels, so that's good. I do not want to overstim. I am sooooo nervous about that. I know that getting OHSS could cancel my cycle. So, pray for my little follicles, please!

I went to Old Navy yesterday because none of my pants button at this point. 1st of all, their maternity section sucks! I wanted cute jeans with elastic on the waist...I got them, but I won't go back when I need real maternity stuff. Seriously? You call 6 articles of clothing a "maternity section"? Thank God I'm not bigger...the only pants they had were smalls. Not impressed!

On a happy note, the Easter Bunny came for me! LOL, I woke up and there was a big pink basket on the counter with a card from Steven. He is too cute...he never ceases to amaze me. Is it normal to be with someone this long and still be head over heels for him?! There is no doubt in my mind that I have chosen the perfect guy to have babies with!

Happy Easter!!

I find it rather stimulating...

I am officially on stims! Steven just gave me my 150units of Follistim and 5units of Lupron. I am so excited! To me, this is the big show...this is when all the magic happens! All the follicles I grow now will make or break this cycle. I have an appointment on Monday at 9am to see how the stims are working. So, here I go!! Makin' babies!

Steven was so excited to start stims. When he woke me up this morning, the first thing he said was "You know what we get to do tonight!" We don't do our shots until 7pm...this was at 6am. He's too cute. I am a lucky, lucky girl!!

Follicles, follicles, follicles!

I had my ultrasound today. I have more that 25 follicles on each side already! None are measurable, but there are already lots to work with! I start stims on Friday night. Then, I also bring my Lupron down to 5 units. Dr. A just wants to keep a very watchful eye on me so I don't overstimulate. So...lucky me...bloodwork and ultrasounds every day from Friday till egg retrieval. Oh well, gotta do what I gotta do!

UPDATE:
The Dr. just called. My Estrodiol level was 14.7...which is good. Anything lower than 80 is good. He also confirmed that I have PCOS, but is confident that I will be fine as long as we monitor my follicles closely.

Are we done yet?

Hey! Nothing much to report, but Aunt Flo is the world's worst guest! She is putting me in a bad mood! And she is giving me cramps and somehow making me fat! I think she's just mad because I am not letting her visit again for the next 9 months or so.

I had my baseline today. I didn't get the results yet because I didn't get to the lab until about 3pm. I have an ultrasound at 8am, so I will ask about my E2 then...like I even know what that means. Just smile and nod, Candi.

Well, just wanted to update and say that I didn't bleed to death...like I always think I am going to. I'm such a drama queen. My daughters will inherit that, I'm sure!

Things are finally going my way!

As I reported yesterday, I was spotting. Well, I woke up this morning and Aunt Flo had packed up and left...so I thought. I was really bummed. I thought that was it...and it wasn't good enough. I went to the bathroom this afternoon, and well...she came back with a vengeance! I have never been so happy to see her. I have my baseline bloodwork tomorrow then my ultrasound on Wednesday at 8:15. Everything is coming together perfectly!! I am truly blessed and so excited to get going. If everything goes as planned, I will start stims on Friday. Time is literally flying now! I'll be having egg retrieval sooner than I even know!

My mom is officially my roomie!! How awesome is that? She moved all the way from Texas and will be here to help me through IVF and pregnancy. She is my best friend in the whole world and I feel so blessed to be able to share this with her. Life doesn't get any better!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

No way!!

OK, well...I started my period!!! It's only spotting, but seeing as how I normally don't get it at all without taking Provera, I am super excited! I'm pretty crampy but I'll take it! I just can't believe that it came on its own! I feel so accomplished!!!

New day, new worries.

I have a new issue. I am very nervous. As I have written in past posts, I do not get regular periods on my own. I have had 2 periods since going off of Depo-Prevera, and both were brought on because Dr. A prescribed Provera for me. I was told to call when I get it, so I can go in for blood work. Before I start my Follistim, this blood work has to be done. I was supposed to start yesterday, but I didn't. To be completely honest, I highly doubt I will. I haven't had a period on my own since October of 2006...when I went off Depo. I don't think now is any different.

I am worried that I won't start at all and my cycle will be cancelled. I called Dr. A's office and asked the NP what we are going to do if this occurs. All she could say was that "Lupron sometimes makes your period late." Well, that didn't help. How can it be late when it doesn't exist?? Has anyone heard of going through with IVF even though Aunt Flo never came?? I am so worried.

Seeing is believing...

It doesn't look that bad...but it is!



Needle-palooza!

Umm...wow?

OK, meds are here. If I wasn't such a talker...I'd be speechless! Actually, it worked out OK...some meds have to stay cold so they packed in an icepack. I was having a hot flash, so I saw the icepack and was like "how'd they know?" So anyway, we have the Follistim Pen with all it's lovely little cartridges and needles. That's in the fridge, next to the milk and the who-knows-what that's been in the Tupperware for at least 3 months. Anyway, then there's the HCG or "trigger shot" with it's ginormous needle...you want me to put that WHERE? Like, in my skin? It may come out the other side, but whatever. Then we have those lovely progesterone suppositories...for you-know-where (gag) and some weird antibiotics for after Egg Retrieval. I got some estrogen patches but the Dr. never mentioned them so I don't even know what I'm doing there. Guess I'd better call and ask. Either that or stick one on one of the dogs and see what happens. Very scientific!

All joking aside...when I opened the box, it was very overwhelming. I actually didn't know what to say. I knew what to expect, kinda...but to see it all laid out is definitely nothing you can plan for. Now that I have taken a second to breathe, I am so excited that its all here in my possession and its allllll mine!! Still about a week and a half before I start stims, but the important thing is that I have stims!! Bring it on!

And now, a word from our sponsor...

Last week, I was talking to another IVFer and she said she was using Visualization & Meditation during her cycle. She said it was really helping her keep her stress level down. So, I went to the Anji Inc. website and read everything. After I was convinced, I ordered Imagery and Meditations to Support In-Vitro Fertilization. It was kind of expensive ($24.95) but I heard and read such great things about it...I thought I'd give it a whirl. It was cool because you can either choose to have the CD delivered or download it straight from the site. Aside from being painfully impatient, I was putting it on my iPod anyway, so I downloaded it. I also made 2 copies on CD-R. One for me and one to leave with my masseuse.

There are 4 tracks:
Track 1: Hitting Your Mark. From Shots to Retrieval
Track 2: Rest and Rejuvinate. Between Retrieval and Transfer
Track 3: Baby's Sweet Spot! From Transfer to Implatation (Week 1 of 2ww)
Track 4: The Waiting Game. From Implantation to Pregnancy Test (Week 2 of 2ww)

I LOVE IT!! I usually don't really respond to things like this...I am too easily annoyed. I felt the difference right away! I even stayed relaxed! I felt a change in my body and feel a lot more in tune with it. I know I sound like an infomercial, but give it a try. I promise you will love it, too. I really think it is going to make all the difference with my cycle.

That's like, 2 Louis Vuittons and a Coach!

OK...it's official. The checks have been sent. The grand (ouch!) total... $8,525 plus $2,000 for meds. Steven did my Lupron injection while I was typing that last sentence.

I have been getting a little nervous. I mean, there is no turning back now. This is real! As excited as I am, I am starting to realize that all of this is going to happen to me and I am just trying to prepare myself for all of it. I never expected to feel this emotional during this process. Ugh...I have a feeling its only gonna get worse! Please pray...for my husband!

Case closed.

I just got a call from the bank. IVF is officially approved. The lawyer told them what was up. I'm not super surprised because she told me not to worry...but for those of you following this thing, the financial part is finally over. For real!

So...maybe I lied!

OK, I'm a liar! The Lupron is no "piece of cake". I had to wait for it to soak in before I could really know what the heck I just did!! No bruising...Steven is a master stabber, but the second shot did hurt more than the first. It makes me feel like its going right into my bladder. I have been reassured that it isn't...but I'm not convinced. Just wait until pee starts coming out of the injection sites!! Oh well, anyway...side effects, side effects, and more side effects. First, we have the ever so popular hot flashes. Fun stuff! Then there's the bloating, cramping, and did I mention hot flashes?? Ugh! Only 4 weeks until retrieval...then Lupron can kiss my booty!

Got a lovely email from the trust today. We've gone from "We just need to make sure it is ok legally." to "Well, the legal advice is helpful, but the trust committee will have the final say." Are they serious?? I was distraught for about 5 seconds...then my lawyer called. She said they can't deny it because the trust was set up to "make me whole". So, she told me not to worry and she also thinks it is time for me to give the bank the boot. She said that there is a different kind of trust that will be protected, but at the same time be easier for me to access. I say yay! Those jerks should've never messed with me...I'm hormonal!

Piece of Cake!

Well, my 1st Lupron shot is done!! It was no problem. Didn't hurt at all! Now my nerves are down and I can enjoy the excitement of what I'm about to do.

IVF Approved!

APPROVED...APPROVED!! LOL, the paralegal just called. They think it is a great idea and that this is exactly what the trust was made for!! I am crying tears of joy right now...just so happy that this whole ordeal is behind me. They even assured me that they would be putting fertility treatments into every trust they do from now on so nobody else has to deal with this in the future. The pharmacy will refund the money I spent on the Lupron. Now I can focus on getting my next positive...from a pregnancy test!!

LUPRON? Check!

Well, my Lupron has been paid for. BY US! Yup...we paid $195 out of pocket because the trust is insisting on taking forever to approve the IVF. They are such jerks...I am realizing how big of a mistake I made by putting my money in this type of an account. Well, what's done is done...and I bought myself two more weeks to fight. And it only cost me $195. Grr!!

Folic Acid x5!

I got a call from the RE's office today about my mock transfer and bloodwork from Wednesday. Everything looked good, but I tested positive for a folic acid deficiency. Its no big deal, but my body doesn't use folic acid properly. They upped my folic acid from 1mg/day to 5mg/day. They also want me on vitamins B6 and B12. Because this deficiency puts me at a higher risk for blood clots, they also put me on baby asprin. Minor speed bump...but it's all good!!

I'm still fighting for funding. I called yesterday and they told me they had to contact a lawyer to make sure that I am "allowed" to use my money for this "elective surgery". OK, yes...they refer to it as elective as if I have a choice!! Anyway, my mom is on the case now and she is a force to be reckoned with! Their best bet is to give me whatever I want, so nobody gets hurt! I'll keep you updated.

T Minus 10 Days!!

Today was my mock transfer (measurement of my uterus), b/w, and IVF Teaching! My uterus is 7cm from end to end...I'm sure you all were desperate to know that. LOL! The teaching was fun. I got to use a fake belly and stab it with needles!! Then I got stabbed, for b/w. BOO FOR B/W!! Anyway, I have a better idea of what I'll be doing. I start 10 units of Lupron on 3/2...a week from Monday. Lupron will put my body into "egg overdrive"! My RE is going out of town on the 14-18 of March, so I'm doing Lupron until 2/21. Then I will be doing Follistim and taking my Lupron down to 5 units. Follistim will stimulate the follicles that hold 1 egg each. My trigger of HCG will be done 7-10 days into Follistim. My estimated Egg Retreval is 4/1, APRIL FOOL'S DAY! After ER, I will do Prometrium vaginal tablets...YUM, Medrol, and Tetracyclene. My RE is looking at 3 day blasts, which means that 3 days after Egg Retreval, I go in for the Embryo Transfer. So, if all goes according to plan, my 2 week wait will be over ON MY BIRTHDAY!! I am so excited!!

The Clomid Challenge!

OK, the Clomid Challenge has officially begun! Wednesday, I had bloodwork done to check my Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH). The doctor called yesterday and told me that my levels were great. Thank God...now I know its a physical thing, not a hormonal thing.

Steven had a semen analysis and bloodwork today. Poor guy! He's been such a good sport through all of this. I am so lucky to have him. Seeing as how I am the infertile one, I sometimes think of how easy it would be for him to find someone else...to have a baby the easy way. He is always reassuring me that everything will be OK and that God will bless us soon. He is my rock.

So, I take my first dose of Clomid tonight!! I am doing 100mg per night, for 5 nights. Wednesday, I go for more bloodwork. Apparently, my FSH level should be up after the Clomid. That is the Clomid Challenge. If the levels aren't right, then my eggs are not viable. I pray that I am OK.

Wednesday is also the day we go for teaching! I think I get my Lupron that day, too! Thankfully, Steven is giving me all the injections. I hate needles, I could never do it to myself.

So, I will post updates as soon as I can. Wednesday through Friday, we will be doing the baby-dance as much as possible...lol! The Clomid will make me ovulate...I could possibly get pregnant from it. Please pray for me.