Sometimes I feel like I am the worst mother. Today Carter is having a bad day. We've tried everything we can think of to fix it. I am pretty sure he has what I call "hurty farts"...which is just my fancy way of saying "painful gas". We just got him down for a nap but I know he'll be up soon to eat again. I am dreading it. Yeah, I totally want to pump him full of my "poisoned" breastmilk and give him even more gas.
Ever since we cut down breastmilk and started adding formula, he's been less gassy. Whatever is in my milk that is so awful for him is what makes his tummy hurt so bad. I've tried everything and can't figure out what it is that I eat that disagrees with him. I feel like its just me. I wanted nothing more than to continue working with him to latch on, but I just can't subject him to 100% breastmilk. Not unless I can think of whatever needs to be removed from my diet. I wonder if caffeine could do it?!
I guess I just feel bad that I'd rather have a sleeping baby. When he's asleep, he doesn't cry. We've cashed out close to 2 bottles of Mylicon now. It helps, but not totally. I'm going to ask the doctor what she can do at his appointment on Tuesday. One thing I know I'm going to do is switch him from NeoSure to Similac Sensitive. That should help a bit.
Is it normal to feel like a bad mom sometimes? I feel like he likes Steven better because he doesn't cry as much for him. Its not because he's with him less because he is a very involved dad. He does the majority of Carter's care.
OK...we have crying. Me and Seahorse are going to tackle this one. I'll be back! Pray for me!
Ever since we cut down breastmilk and started adding formula, he's been less gassy. Whatever is in my milk that is so awful for him is what makes his tummy hurt so bad. I've tried everything and can't figure out what it is that I eat that disagrees with him. I feel like its just me. I wanted nothing more than to continue working with him to latch on, but I just can't subject him to 100% breastmilk. Not unless I can think of whatever needs to be removed from my diet. I wonder if caffeine could do it?!
I guess I just feel bad that I'd rather have a sleeping baby. When he's asleep, he doesn't cry. We've cashed out close to 2 bottles of Mylicon now. It helps, but not totally. I'm going to ask the doctor what she can do at his appointment on Tuesday. One thing I know I'm going to do is switch him from NeoSure to Similac Sensitive. That should help a bit.
Is it normal to feel like a bad mom sometimes? I feel like he likes Steven better because he doesn't cry as much for him. Its not because he's with him less because he is a very involved dad. He does the majority of Carter's care.
OK...we have crying. Me and Seahorse are going to tackle this one. I'll be back! Pray for me!
9 comments:
Welcome to Mommyhood. All those feelings are COMPLETELY NORMAL NORMAL MORMAL. To make you feel better I told Andrei today that I feel like I am a horrible Mom.
We all have thos e bad days. If you have to switch him to formula don't beat yourself up for it. He will survive beautifully.
Sometimes you have to do what is best for Baby and Mommy.
You will be in my prayers have you tried gripe water...totally safe and worked WONDERS for my Owen who had hurty farts.
I am so sorry!!! I will be keeping all 3 of you in my prayers!! I know you know this deep down, but don't beat yourself up...You are a WONDERFUL Mommy!!! Babies have their good days and bad days just like everyone else...I know you feel helpless at times and I KNOW the constant crying can get to you...sometimes even if you can leave him with the hubby and get outside for 5 minutes or so and come back, it will renew you....
I have never heard of Caffine affecting breastmilk, but I guess it is certainly worth asking about... obviously I am sure you are not eating really spicy stuff or anything obvious that would cause his gas....Anyway, hang in there and if you need a good cry, have a good cry!!!! :) You are wonderful and don't beat yourself up...you both will survive...this too shall pass!!! :)
I feel like that at least a few times a week with one thing or another!!! :)
Go on that website, www.asklenore.com ... she is an amazing lactation consultant. Post your message on the message board and you'll have an answer to your hurty farts in no time. :) They helped me more than any in person lactation consultant I saw. There are a couple of very helpful and experienced moms on their too.
Candi - Don't ever second guess yourself. You are the best Mommy that Carter could ever ask for so don't EVER think otherwise. We all have our off days and perhaps Carter is just having an off day.
Have you ever checked out BabyCenter.com ? Well, if you haven't then here is a link to check out regarding foods that might affect your breastmilk. I love this site and it is SO SO helpful. Here is the link...
http://www.babycenter.com/0_breast-milk-interactions-chart_8788.bc
Anyway, check it out and then try to evaluate what you might be eating that could be affecting little Mr. Carter - You have to do what is best for both of you so I hope this helps. Good Luck and hang in there!!
Hugs,
Lisa
If he's having trouble latching on, that could be the source of his gas. If he's not latched on well and doesn't nurse continually, he could be swallowing too much air.
And yes, it's normal to feel like a bad mom and it will continue for the rest of your life. Welcome to motherhood!
Have you tried pumping your milk and feeding it to him in a bottle? I'll bet he'd be just fine with it. It's not you ... really. :)
I struggle with feeling like a bad mom a lot. I have so much mommy guilt because I'm pumping and not giving her my breast, because I put her in her swing a couple times a day so I can get some things done, because I don't hold her 24 hours a day... because... because... Ugh!
Being a mom is hard - I guess the guilt comes with the territory.
But we're not bad moms, we actually very good moms to care so much about the little things.
I'm sure you've already tried this, but just in case you haven't you should cut dairy out of your diet and see if he responds better to the breast milk after that.
Good luck to you, we're thinking of you and hoping things get better soon. Just remember that both big ones and little ones have bad days and that doesn't make you a bad mom at all!
Yes! Sometimes we all feel like bad mothers, it is totally normal! Please don't blame yourself. Learning how to care for your son will last your lifetime. I have a five year old and a 21 month old and still feel as if I am learning. I would never tell someone to give up on breastfeeding, but you have to do what is best for Carter, and if that is formula, then don't feel badly about it. You have already given him the best start possible in life.
I'm behind on this, but Elizabeth had huge gas and tummy problems until I got my oversupply taken care of. Then I started nursing her on one side only and that totally took care of the problem.
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