Spring Clean!

My mom just left after a long day of helping me clean. I can imagine she's pretty exhausted! We did every room except my bedroom, because Steven has to work tonight and he is in there sleeping. I'll go in there once he wakes up and get to work! Everything looks and smells awesome. Its nice to know that the furniture has been moved and cleaned under, windows are clean, and everything is exactly how I wanted it. What a relief! I took some pictures with my phone, since I've never really posted them on my blog. I'll take better ones when the master bedroom/bath is done.

(Master bedroom/bathroom photos coming soon...)

It's amazing how a clean house can change your entire mood!

Steven got word last night that starting on Monday he will be moved to 2nd shift. Its 2:15pm-10:30pm. I don't know how I feel about it. I was just getting used to 3rds. Now I have to re-psyche myself up. I will have to do dinner/bath/bedtime by myself Monday-Friday. Even though I'm Italian, the "good cook" stereotype is not one that is true. Steven cooks dinner every night. I just clean it up. He also helps with bath/bedtime most nights, so I will definitely miss that. I just have to keep reminding myself that we are very blessed that he has a job at all. Everything will be ok...but it will take a lot of getting used to. It will definitely be nice to not have to sleep alone!

A Little Overwhelmed

Every year around this time, I get really overwhelmed. The weather is getting nicer and I start to realize that its time for Spring Cleaning. Ughhhhhhh...I love once its done, but I hate doing it. There are a few things that I can't do on my own, so I have to ask for help, which I kinda don't like to do. I would rather just do it myself, at my own pace...on my own terms. I think that's the most overwhelming part. No matter how long I've had to get used to my disability, I don't think I'll ever be ok with depending on others for things I'd much rather do by myself. Either way, its the hand I've been dealt, so my mom is going to come over tomorrow and help with some of the more difficult things. Hopefully we can team up and get it done and over with in a relatively decent amount of time. Then I can breathe!

I have a dentist appointment on Wednesday. That's another thing I've been up to in the 8 months I've been away from blogging. Before Steven and I got married in 2006, I went to the dentist to have a few cavities filled. I had a really bad experience...the dentist drilled and filled an entire tooth when I could still feel it. Even when I said something, he told me "You're ok. You're doing great." So, from then on, every time my 6 month cleaning time would roll around, I made excuses why I couldn't go. This went on for 6 years. My front teeth were in great shape, so you couldn't tell anything was wrong...but my molars were a mess. My wisdom teeth had started breaking and I was in a lot of pain. I finally couldn't take it anymore and I found a dentist in my area that specializes in a "Pain-free experience". Even though I was terrified, I bit the bullet and made an appointment. I am so glad I did. My first appointment lasted 4 hours and consisted on extracting 3 of my molars on my left side (2 were wisdom teeth) and drilling/filling anything else that needed it. Then he put temporary bridges over the left side so we could finish them at a different time. The next week, we did the right side. Then I went back in for 2 root canals. I still need 2 more, but they can wait, since they are protected by the bridges. Wednesday, I will have the temporaries removed from the bottom on both sides and have permanent crowns put in place. Then I can go back to get the top done...then I'm done for good! All of this pain and discomfort just because of one bad experience...how dumb?! But I can't even begin to tell you how much better I feel now that my mouth is healthy! And I won't lie...being on the laughing gas is never a disappointment!

I got my van back on Saturday! It looks awesome. Not only did he fix the damage from Walmart, but he also put new clips in my door panel (which has been broken since I got the car.), repainted the ramp cover underneath, and fixed a scratch from a door ding, which I got about a year ago when a cart hit it in (none other than) the Walmart parking lot. It looks like a brand new car on the outside. Maybe I can get my mom to help spring-clean the inside for me while she is here!

OK...I'll leave you with a video that just melts my heart. We went to a friend's 30th surprise party and I caught this video of Steven and Brookie dancing.

I am blessed beyond measure...no matter how overwhelmed I may get.

Date Day - Butchino Style!

Steven and I were able to take a very rare date day yesterday...just the 2 of us. We dropped the kids off with my mom, grabbed a quick lunch and headed to the most romantic place we could think of...the gun range! Country girl at heart right here! He just bought me a new Ruger SR22 complete with a pink grip as an early birthday gift. I couldn't wait to get my finger on the trigger! Just because I'm disabled doesn't mean I can't find a way to do something I love! I live by the saying "Where there's a will, there's a way." So even though I have an unconventional way of shooting, I'm not half bad.

I was able to kill a zombie, too! Walking Dead style!!

Now, that's what I call a date!! There's nothing better than doing something you love with your favorite person in the whole world!

In other news, I should be getting my van back from the body shop tomorrow. Its been there since Monday. While we were in NY a couple weeks ago, I took it to have my tires rotated at Walmart TLE. Sure enough, they wrecked it! Ran it right into a tire machine! So, they are taking care of all repairs as well as giving me a rental allowance. Its been a pain in the butt, but I did get free lifetime tire rotations out of the whole ordeal...if I decide to take it back there!

Anyway, we are having a lazy day today. Eating junk food and watching Wreck It Ralph in our pajamas! These days with my babies will end all too soon.

Check out the updated "About Me" tab to the left!

Tuesday Tidbits - One For Mama!

I was doing a little online shopping the other day and received an email from the Coach Factory Outlet about a sale they were having. I had to scurry to swipe it up because the sale was only going for about 10 more minutes, but I managed to get this gorgeous Ashley Leather Swingpack ($169) for only $59!!

Score!! A lot of people don't know about these sales because they are for members only. Signing up is easy! Just go to coachfactory.com and become a member! You will receive super secret sale emails and save tons of cash! You can thank me later!!

For more Tuesday Tidbits, head over to Kelly's Blog, oxboroughchaos.com! 

I'm Baaaaaack!

(And I need to catch you up!)

It's been awhile. Almost 8 months to be exact. This is what my kids look like now...

Still as cute as can be...obviously. (Maybe I'm partial.)

We've had a lot of changes since last time I posted. (Including a change from thebutchinofamily.net to thebutchinofamily.com.) Steven is still working for the same company, but just went to straight 3rds, Sunday-Thursday. It hasn't been easy, but we make it work. He used to work 3 to 4 days a week, 6:30pm-6:30am. Now, its 5 days a week, 10:15pm-6:30am. I think I will like these hours better because we have more time during the day to spend together and I'll have help putting the kids to bed every night! Also, he will always have weekends off...which it was every-other before. 

Brooklyn has still been doing pageants. She's been having a blast and is an absolute natural. 3 weekends ago, she won a Haily's Choice Award (which is a Supreme Title), Best Smile, and Best Personality. Then this past weekend, she won the 2-3 year old division, Best Eyes, Best Dressed, Best Personality, and Top Model Look. We are very proud!

   

Carter is getting huge!! He turned 4 in October and there's nothing he loves more than monster trucks and his daddy! The two of them just went to Monster Jam a few weekends ago and Carter got to meet a few of the drivers and got their autographs. He had an absolute blast!

As for me, I'm still taking photos. Mainly just for friends and family. I don't have much free time to make it a full-time thing. But I love doing it, so I'm generally happy doing it wherever and whenever. Two weekends ago, I had the honor of photographing the wedding of my very dear cousin and his new wife. Other than that, I've been busy running a household. Sometimes it gets overwhelming, but I am just thankful to have the opportunity and the ability to do it. This time 2 years ago, I required in-home nursing and my husband was unemployed. I'd say we've got it going on right now!

I really missed blogging and feel like I need an outlet, so it wont be another 8 months before you hear from me again. Maybe after I get the kids to bed tonight, I will start on a new layout. I'm thinking a new look is definitely in order!! 

4th of July - Photo Post

We had a blast this week! Wednesday, we kicked off our festivities with a parade by my mom's house. Steven worked until 2:30, but we were able to have a cookout afterward. Thursday, there was a Mardi Gras parade in Fairport, the town I went to high school in. Its a really big deal...something the whole community looks forward to all year. I watched with my mom at my aunt's house with Brooklyn, while Steven and Carter spent the evening with their BFFs. Friday, we went down to Mardi Gras, which is really just a big carnival on the beach. The kids rode a few rides and played a few games. They had a great time. After that, we took a trip out to the country for a picnic. It was absolutely beautiful! Saturday, I had lunch with my girlfriends, then we hung out and had some friends over for the UFC fight. Yesterday, we went shopping during the day, then it was back into Fairport for fireworks...which ended up being cancelled due to high winds. That was disappointing, but it was a great week!

Who am I??

I am watching last night's episode of Push Girls on Sundance Channel. If you haven't seen it yet, I urge you to check it out. These girls are amazing and absolutely gorgeous in every sense of the word! This week, they are talking about Stem Cell treatment and how everybody deals with being paralyzed differently. I often think about these things, but I have never blogged about how I really feel about who I am. The past 13 years has been a roller coaster of ups and downs for me.

As most of you know, I was in a car accident in 1999 that left my paralyzed pretty much from the neck down. After having spinal fusion surgery, I regained use of my arms, but my finger movement has pretty much remained the same...I don't have much. My arm movement has changed tremendously. I can remember being in the hospital and all I wanted to do was surprise my dad on Father's Day by being able to bring my right hand up to touch my nose. That was the 1st of many goals I have set for myself since then.

At first, I was angry. I remember sitting home trying to figure out ways to get someone to leave my Percocet bottle where I could reach it...all I could think about was ending my suffering. I felt like I was a burden on everyone in my life...my independence was taken from me in the blink of an eye. For a teenage girl that was preparing to graduate and start her own life, that is not an easy pill to swallow...no pun intended. 

The first 2 years were hell. Everything, physically and emotionally, was a struggle. I cried constantly. Then Steven came along and turned my whole world upside down. He made me realize that there's not much in this world I can't do as long as I believe in myself. The past 11 years have made me OK with who I am now. 

So, who am I now? 

I can tell you that I am happy. I know that due to my accident, I have been given opportunities that I wouldn't have otherwise had. I am exactly where I wanted to be at 30 years old. I own a home, a nice car, the bills are being paid, and I feel secure that the stability won't change. I have an amazing husband who is truly my other half and two beautiful children that challenge me physically (in a good way) every day. I am able to be a stay-at-home mom, which most people in my particular situation wouldn't be able to do. I am so blessed to be here with them every day, not missing one precious moment of their way-too-short childhoods. I can tell you that I am accepting of the life I have. That doesn't mean I don't want to walk again. I would give anything to walk again...but I refuse to waste any more time on the outside looking in on my own life. I wasted too much time wishing things could be different, but they can't. So, I have had to learn to deal with things the way they are...and I have found that acceptance was the key to having a fulfilling life. Once I decided to be OK with the turns my life has taken, I was able to figure out new ways to do all of the things I did before. That has been a blessing in disguise. You can never truly appreciate something until it is almost taken from you. I look at life completely different now.

As far as Stem Cell treatment goes, this may be controversial, but I am all for it. This is something that I am literally wearing one shoe on each side of. On one side, I am paralyzed. I live every day in a wheelchair. As I said, I would give anything to walk again. On the flip side, I have 7 frozen embryos from our IVF cycle. To me, they are babies...they are life. However, I am quite positive that I am done having children. Someday, I may have the choice to use them to help me walk again. I can't tell you that I am 100% sure I would say "yes", if given the opportunity...but I can understand why others would. Let me clarify...I do not think embryos should be made and killed for the sole purpose of extracting stem cells. But, as in my case, where the embryos are already here, I think it is at the discretion of the parents to decide how they are used. I definitely don't think they should be thrown in the trash, like many unused embryos are.

OK...I hate that subject. Its too scientific for me. But I realized that I have never spoken about where I stand with it. It may be ballsy for me to even bring it up, especially in the world of infertility...but I am also speaking as a woman who spends every moment of her life in a wheelchair. I do have sympathy for those who cannot have children and I know donating my embryos is always an option. I honestly do not know what I will do with them at this moment...I guess that's a bridge I will cross when I get there. I trust that God will speak to my heart and help me make the right decision for myself, my family, and others involved. No matter what, it is not a decision I will make lightly.

So, that's who I am. I am just like every other woman in this world who wants to be everything she can for her family. So, I will continue to fight for that with every breath in my body. Quitting is no longer an option and not in my nature. All I can do is move forward and be thankful for everything I have. I hope I can inspire others to do the same...because you just never know what tomorrow may bring.

Pretty Bianca

Our dog Bianca takes all sorts of "torture" (they don't actually torture her...but you can tell she doesn't know what to do sometimes.) from the kids. They are constantly kissing her, hugging her way too hard, chasing her, teasing her, playing with her ears, etc.

I assume she secretly loves it...

A day in the life...3 years later.

I have come a long way since Carter was a baby. In January of 2009, I blogged this post...about a day in my life as a disabled mother. I was thinking about the things I refused to even try back then and the lack of credit I gave myself by not even attempting. All I can do is throw my head back and laugh at how I could never get away with that now.

So, here is my new and revised "A day in the life"...

I still get up when Steven leaves for work at 6 a.m. because I like to use my morning time wisely. Instead of him helping me to the couch, I go directly to my wheelchair. Sometimes I watch TV or read while drinking my mandatory minimum of 1 cup of coffee. I no longer have a nurse, so there's nobody to help me in the morning. I try to be quiet so the kids can sleep. Carter usually strolls out around 7 o' clock and we cuddle for awhile before I get his breakfast. Brookie follows him around 7:30ish. I get her from her crib, take off her nighttime diaper, let her pee, then change her out of her jammies and get her underwear/day clothes on. While she is eating breakfast, I usually change Carter's clothes, unless he says he wants to stay in pajamas. We watch TV or play until I start lunch at about 11:30. After lunch, Brookie goes potty and I put her in a Pull-up for nap time. She goes in first, I tuck her in, then I bring Carter to his room and get him settled for nap.

Nap time is when I really get to work. As soon as I'm sure they're asleep, I throw in laundry, pick up toys, load the dishwasher, and do any other housework that needs to be done. In the rare event that I have time left before they wake up, I try catching up on DVRed shows or I get on Facebook and nose around in everyone else's business. 50% of the time, the kids wake up before 2:45, which is when Steven gets home. 

When he walks in, he takes a shower, gets dressed, and I sometimes use that time to shower myself before we run any errands that we need to get done...since I can't get out of the house by myself without help. If our agenda is clear, we go outside and hang out until dinner. Steven is an amazing cook, so he is in charge of that. After dinner, he takes the kids and gets them in the tub while I clear the table/counters/load the dishwasher. I hurry up and get their pajamas together so he has them ready after their bath. When they are done, they play for awhile and wind down before we take them in to brush their teeth...then they go to bed.

Once the kids are in bed, I finish any cleaning or laundry that is still in progress. I usually sit in the living room and watch TV or read before heading to bed. Then its off to sleep...and it starts all over in the morning. 

I can't believe I ever got by doing less than I do now. How is this place even still standing? I look back and can't help but have a sense of pride at how far I have come and all of the new things I have had to throw myself into being a wife and mother of 2. Its never easy...but they are my motivation. There are still some things I can't do and wish I could, but that list is a lot shorter than it was 3 years ago...and my goal is to one day eliminate it completely. Until then, I will continue to do as best as I can with what I have been given. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Vacation and Potty Training

Steven had off last weekend, so we made a quick trip to visit our family in New York. My brother's girlfriend's baby shower was Saturday...and I was so glad I got to go. We got in on Friday night and immediately went to visit some friends. After we did that, we went for drinks with Steven's cousin Angie, who my kids refer to as "Bange". We decided that we would try to hang with the younger crowd and stayed out until sunrise. That made for quite an interesting day on Saturday. We were exhausted!! After the baby shower, we had dinner with my brothers-in-law, father-in-law, and sister-in-law (who just happens to be my BFFE!!). Sunday we spent the day by the pool and then made a stop at my dad's before heading home. It was a nice trip, but it was way too short.

Brookie lounging in the pool.

My little froggie.

Daddy pushing the princess around in the water.

...and I had absolutely no idea what was going on around me.

We got home Sunday night and went straight to bed. Monday morning, Brooklyn woke up and decided to be potty trained. No, I'm not exaggerating. We decided after the struggle we had with Carter that we were not going to push potty training of any kind on Brooklyn. We figured she would let us know when she was ready. Well, she sure did! She still wakes up wet in the morning, so she's in diapers at night, but she wears undies all day and has only had 1 accident all week. I have to say, I'm a pretty proud mommy!!

Yesterday, we went and traded Steven's car in for a new (well, new-to-us) truck. He has wanted one forever, but we have never been able to afford it. He has been working his butt off, so its about time he had something of his own to show for it. I couldn't be happier for him. I am so thankful for everything he has had to give up in the past to care for me...it feels good to know that he's finally able to do something for himself.

As always, I'm feeling blessed beyond measure with this family of mine! It gets better with every passing day.

Best Friends!!

(I had some time to make a new layout today while the kids were napping. Like?)

What We've Been Up To...

Wow! Its been 3 months since my last post! That is awful!! But its been a good reflection of how much free time I have these days! Steven started a new job and I decided to try being a Stay-at-Home Mom by myself. Since my car accident in 1999 (which left me paralyzed, for those of you who don't know.), I have had someone caring for me at all times. After my last nurse left in January, while Steven was unemployed, I decided to forgo in-home health care. I just don't feel like I need it. Yes, I am in a wheelchair. Yes, my finger dexterity is extremely limited. But I haven't let my disability hold me back from much...this is no different. If you had told me 2 years ago that I would be caring for 2 young children all day, by myself, while running a household, with no nurse...I wouldn't have believed you. I guess thats what makes me feel so good. They're my children. I should be the one caring for them. I haven't felt this independent and free for a very long time. And I enjoy every moment I have with my beautiful children.

Carter is now 3 1/2 and is Daddy's boy through and through. They look alike, they talk alike, they walk alike. He loves fishing and going outside. The "treacherous threes" are in full swing! One minute, he's sitting watching his favorite show, Team Umizoomi...the next minute he's running around at full speed, screaming, chasing the dog. He loves making funny faces and always tries to make everybody laugh. He has really been the man of the house while daddy is at work. He is always taking care of his sister and making sure mommy has enough cuddles. He brightens my world every day. 

Miss Brooklyn is a mini-mama. I couldn't have pre-ordered a more perfect baby. She is the daughter I dreamed about when I was a little girl. She's girly, dramatic, and loves everything I love. She has continued doing her pageants, which is fun for us both. The most fun we have is practicing her routines. She loves doing it! Most of the time, she ends up forgetting everything on stage, but we have so much fun practicing for it! These days, Brookie is a major chatterbox. She says way more than she should at her age. Yesterday, she told me "Mommy. I want ketchup." I said "OK...with what?" She goes "Ketchup with french fries." She definitely knows what she wants. My beautiful little diva.

So, that's what we've been up to! I will try to post more. I do love blogging. Its a great outlet...that's why I started to begin with. I may take long breaks, but I will never stay away!