I'm Pregnant.

It is just so weird to say!

Now that we have had some time to sort through our emotions, I can tell you all more about what went on here yesterday. I was just kinda speechless at first, and needed to let everything sink in before I could really say anything at all.

For the past few days, Mandy had been picking on how bloated I have been. She kept asking when I was supposed to get my period, but since they aren't regular anyway, I wasn't really concerned. She was right, though...all week I was really really bloated and uncomfortable. I just figured my period was on its way or something. We started talking about how Steven and I got a sitter for this weekend and how I would hate myself if I drank and it turned out I was pregnant. We have not been doing the Clomid or anything since Steven lost his job, but we haven't been "not trying". We have been infertile for so long, that we just assumed that we couldn't possibly get pregnant ourselves. We figured that is how it would always be...and we were beginning to be OK with it.

So, I grabbed a leftover test that I had from our round of Clomid in September. I dropped the urine into the little hole and tossed the test onto the counter like I always do...I am very used to this process. Pee, wait, look, throw away. It is almost automatic. About 30 seconds later, Mandy goes, "Candi? Candi?! Candi!!" I had already began preparing to straighten my hair, so I wasn't looking. I looked over and saw two lines on the test. My first reaction was, "Nope. Its a false positive...it has to be because I am infertile!" Meanwhile, Mandy was shaking! She started running around, then hugged me, then asked if she could go get Steven, who had just put Carter down for his nap. I told her to go ahead. Steven came in and I flashed him the test. His response?? "Isn't that test from the Dollar Store?" Oh, my dear jaded infertile husband...I love him! We asked Mandy to run to Walgreens and grab a digital CBE. She of course, ran out the door and was back before we could turn around! I took the digital test and it came up "Pregnant" right away. We were shocked and speechless! Steven was as far from me as possible...his face was white as a ghost. All he could say was, "How did this happen? I don't have a job." I reassured him that everything would be ok. We have a lot of time to prepare for this baby. And we have saved everything of Carter's so we could use it again.

After the initial shock, we were absolutely ecstatic! Once again, we have beaten the odds!! God has been so good to us. We have a wonderful marriage and friendship, a beautiful little boy that we couldn't possibly love any more, and now we have been blessed with this miracle!! Once again, I am honored that He thinks I am worthy of this job. And I couldn't be more excited to become a family of 4!!

No Snappy Title Necessary.

No fertility treatments. No Clomid. No temping. No idea.

Wow.

Master Bedroom Makeover

Two Christmases ago, my mom gave us a "bedroom makeover" coupon. She bought us a comforter set and curtains, and made us a headboard. Since she works so much, she has not had a week's vacation to do this since she gave it to us. This week, she is off of work and she finally finished our room today. I wish I had before pictures, but the state of our room up until today was not something I would've ever taken pictures of. It had only primer on the wall with many scrapes and scratches. Nothing matched and there was no color scheme what-so-ever. It was the only room that we hadn't redone since we moved in...even our bathrooms have been made over in the past 3 years. We are just the kind of people who worry about ourselves last. I tried my best just to keep the door closed when company came over and not show it on the "house tour" when we showed friends and family our home. Now, I no longer have to do that...

My mom is the best!

Playroom 2.0

Easy Come, Easy Go.

Our tax return has pretty much came and went. About 3/4 of it went to bills, which we feel wonderful to be caught up on. Then we went to BJ's and stocked up on diapers, wipes, Tylenol/Motrin, Pediasure, and other baby necessities. We will be good for close to 2 and a half months. With Steven being out of work for 3 months, we were more behind on bills than ever before. Like, I'm talking shut-off notices. Since SSI still has not added Carter into the mix, my monthly disability hasn't gone up, let alone the fact that they are still paying me as if Steven is working. Funny how they can go 15 months without paying me for something, but they know right away when they should be lowering my payment. I brought them Carter's Social Security card and birth certificate shortly after he was born, but they said with Steven's job, a 3rd family member wouldn't affect my payment...which was fine. When Steven lost his job, I began hounding them every day, faxing them all the info they'd need. Steven is 3 months out of work and I just got an appointment for this Tuesday.

Steven heard a good word on one of the applications he put in!! We are hoping he will be back to work within the next couple of weeks. Praise God. I will miss having him around during the daytime, but I know how bad he feels about himself that he isn't financially providing for us. It is very hard on him. He is such a great help around the house and with Carter, what he doesn't realize is how proud and appreciative I am of him. This time with him has been a blessing to me, Carter, our home, and our marriage.

We did have a little fun with our return...well, Carter did! We got him a small flat-screen TV and a DVD player for the playroom. We also went today and picked up a DVR/Cable box for him...do you know what that means!?! No more Yo Gabba Gabba in the living room 24/7! So, maybe it was a little for us, LOL! We also got a futon for the playroom so we can go in there with him and lounge. We were at Walmart and I grabbed him some Mega Blox because he plays with them when we are at our BFF's house and he loves them. Steven got him Rocky the Robot Truck...OMG cutest toy ever!! I could watch him dance all day!! Carter likes to put his sippy in the back so Rocky can dump it. So cute. I will post pics of our revamped playroom when it is 100% finished. As for Steven and I, we treated ourselves a bit. I got a 1TB external hard drive and a 28-135mm lens...which I am beyond excited to receive. Steven got some video game stuff...but he would rather spoil us more than himself. It's just the kind of husband and father he is. Don't worry...I have a big surprise in store for him!! One he will never see coming!!

Carter has been a very bad boy at bedtime lately. He is on a sleep strike all of a sudden and will not go to sleep when we put him to bed. He isn't napping any more or any less that usual...just 1 nap per day. When we put him in bed, he screams and cries for about an hour before we go in there. I am all for the CIO method, but I will not leave him to cry for over an hour. I think he may have a slight ear infection. He occasionally rubs his ear...but other than that, he seems ok. But my mommy instinct says something is up, so he will be going to the pedi this week. She wants to see him anyway to check his weight. Last time we were there, she was a little concerned since he was only in the 3rd percentile with weight, but in the 75th percentile with height. He loves his Pediasure and drinks it every day, so I think he will be just fine. He is just so active. He is walking everywhere now, and if he isn't eating or sleeping, he is playing. He spends most of his time taking each toy out of his toybox, walking over to the other side of the room, and putting said toy in his basketball hoop...then going "Oooohh!" He will repeat this over and over until just about every toy is out of the toybox. It is hilarious to watch.

I am so sorry there are no pictures to post...we have been so busy. Steven is getting ready to put the futon together, so I will take pics before and after Carter wakes up in the morning and empties the toybox into the basketball hoop! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!

Same Old, Same Old

Nothing new has been going on. Steven's brother and cousin stayed with us for a week, which was fun. We did lots of 4-wheeling, sledding, and general goofing off. Now, we are just taking the weekend to wind down and get our house back in order. I was able to borrow Angie for a photo shoot before she left. Here are a few photos from that...

Speaking of photos, I had a total idiot moment the other day and deleted all of my photos. I thought I was just deleting client photos that I had backed up onto a flash drive, but I somehow deleted every picture I had on my laptop. Thankfully, I have only had this computer for about 6 months, so most of the pics of Carter's 1st year were not lost. Between facebook and my blog, I am OK, but I am taking extra precautions from now on. Tomorrow, I am buying a Time Capsule. I looked at other external hard drives, but the thought of having to plug it in and backup all my files every time I upload pictures made me nervous. What if I forget? I have a MacBook Pro, so its not like I'd be leaving it plugged in at all times. I would have to remember to do it every day...not happening. The Time Capsule is wireless and works with Apple Time Machine, which automatically backs up your files for you. Perfect for someone as scatter brained as me. Its on my agenda for this week.

Last night, we went to our friends' house and had dinner with our pastor Ken and his wife, Shelley. It was very nice. Lots of great food and fellowship. It is so fun to go over there and watch Carter interact with their girls. I can't believe that he now goes off and plays with other kids...it seems like just yesterday that he would stay in my arms for hours. Now I can't keep him near me for more that a few seconds if other kids are around. He is so grown up!!

We filed our taxes and should be getting our return tomorrow. It seems like it is already gone. We have to catch up on our bills, pay off our TV, get a new TV stand, get a new bed, get Steven a cell phone that works (he dropped his and has a huge crack on the screen.)...and a million other things. With Steven being unemployed, we have to use this money carefully. Paying off our TV will be a big help because that is $150 more per month that we will have for other bills. We have been in dire need of a new bed for a long time now, but it just isn't a priority...so I am very excited. A good night's sleep will be very nice! I may not want to wake up!

I forgot to post this, but Carter has a new obsession...and it has definitely blown Gabbas out of the water. Well, not the TV show...he still loves that, but we no longer need to make sure that there is a Brobee in every room in our house. Carter has discovered balls. Mostly little basketballs, but really any ball will do.  He walks around saying "ball! ball! ball!" and always has one with him. He will not even sleep unless he has a stuffed ball in his crib. The other night, I bought him a 3-pack of Cleveland Cavaliers softee basketballs. Those are his fave. He takes one everywhere he goes. I'm sure you will be seeing lots of pictures!!

Well...a dirty kitchen awaits me. Wouldn't it be great if the dishes washed themselves?

Sledding.

Antsy Pants

My boys are on their way home!! I am so excited! I am sooooo antsy right now...I can barely sit still. The house is clean and there is nothing to do but sit and wait...and blog.

My mother-in-law sent me this picture earlier today of Carter in the car, getting ready for the ride home. I miss that adorable face and can't wait to kiss it a hundred times!!

Today has been truly relaxing. Funny how I finally relax and its time for them to come home. I kinda think I was able to enjoy today because I know that this awful 2 1/2 days is coming to an end. I have been sitting on the couch wrapped in my Snuggie eating snacks...and watching lots of TV...all day. Alone. My mom and her boyfriend were here all weekend, so I really didn't get time to myself until today. I must say that it is very nice to have no one to entertain and nothing to do.

But I still can't wait for them to get here.

DIY.

After the initial $4,000 spent on my MacBook Pro, camera, and software...then the $2,000 spent on lighting, lenses, and random studio odd and ends, I am now in "DIY mode" to finish my studio. Let's just say that the money tree has wilted. Anyway, I still have to hang backdrops and get reflectors for natural light photography.

Today, I went to Lowe's and bought a 4x8 piece of white foam board insulation and 4 shelf brackets and made a large reflector. Normally, these things cost a pretty penny...but not here...not today! I made this bad boy for about $20!! Amazing!!

This week, I will return to Lowe's for 2 metal plant hangers and a piece of PVC pipe to hang my backdrop. In theory, it will work like a charm.

Oh yeah...and I am still going crazy without my boys...literally counting the hours until they are home. They'll be on their way tomorrow afternoon. Please pray for nice weather and safe travel for them. By this time tomorrow night, they will be back in my arms, right where they belong.

Project 365

So, I have been Peer Pressured by my friends over at Clickin' Moms to participate in Project 365. What is that, you ask? Well, I will take and share 1 photo, every day, all year...365 photos! The photo can be of anything, but I intend to make mine reflect at least part of that particular day. Instead of doing my Project 365 in the form of a blog, I have created a set at Flickr.com. To view it, click here. I hope you enjoy my year in photos for 2010!

Mommy's Weekend Alone...Carter's MANcation

I am officially alone for the weekend. Steven and Carter went on a MANcation to NY...well, actually Carter will be spending the weekend with my mother-in-law while Steven shows his BFF the town where he grew up. I was very uneasy at first about letting Carter go. I have never spent a full day away from him since he was born. I was at the NICU every day when he was there. The longest I have ever gone without seeing him is overnight. After thinking about it, I thought it would be fun for Carter as well as a nice relaxing weekend for myself. I can get Christmas decorations down and get the house back in order. Not to mention it is healthy for us all. I know he is with his grandma, who I fully trust...and I know that Steven will be around, too. The hard part will be making it from now until Sunday evening when my boys will be back home.

Please pray for my sanity...and safe travel for the two most important people in my whole world.

Now...what to do?