Hanging in There.

That's all I'm doing this week...hanging in there. It hasn't been easy, but I am trying my best to do everything I can to keep this baby in as long as I can. Every day this week has been eventful. Monday and Tuesday, we drove all the way out to the hospital for my Betamethasone injections. I am relieved that they are done, but hope that Brooklyn doesn't really need the extra lung development. Hopefully, she will have a few more weeks in my belly to grow.

Wednesday, I woke up very dizzy. I had a couple of very bad spells where the entire room was jumping and spinning. Thankfully, Steven was right there to calm me down and help me figure out what was causing the dizziness. We aren't really 100% sure, but we think it has something to do with me laying on my right side. I always contract more after sleeping on my left side, but the dizziness was awful, so I am trying my best to prevent it. Last night, I was able to sleep on my right side for a little while, but ended up flipping back over...and I am paying for it today with all sorts of contractions. Its a bit weird to me that I can sit here and have them every few minutes, but I am being told that its OK and not to panic. I would like to panic! They hurt and in most cases, they would be a pretty good indicator of actual labor...but not for me. Right now, I am just trying to deal with them, morning, noon, and night...because my cervix seems to be holding up and my water hasn't broken. I have just been praying every day for things to stay the way they are. I can handle the contractions if I know that my cervix is staying closed and that Brooklyn is safe. 

Tomorrow is a pretty big day. I will be 32 weeks and 5 days...the same day that Carter was born. I knew it would eventually come and go, but I did not expect all of the emotions that I am having. I am nervous that history could repeat itself. I am relieved that we made it this far. I am scared that anything could happen at any time from here on out. I am paranoid that I am overlooking things that could mean I am in labor. I am thankful that she wasn't born earlier than Carter. I am worried about how things will happen...and when. I am hopeful that my body can do this each day for the next 4 weeks. 

My husband has been amazing throughout this entire pregnancy. I remember when I was in my 1st trimester and I was constantly exhausted and needing sleep. He took care of Carter while I slept as much as I needed to and while I was sick to my stomach every day. He has been nothing but helpful and has taken so much stress off of my shoulders in the last 7 months. I find myself feeling so much calmer just knowing that he is around. When I was dizzy the other day, I felt like I was fine as long as he was near me...and that he wouldn't let anything bad happen. I am so blessed to have him in my life...and to be able to have him around me all day. He starts nursing school in a couple weeks, which makes me very nervous and sad, but I couldn't be more thankful or proud. 

This weekend, we are just hanging out and relaxing. My brother in law is visiting from New York, so I am sure the boys will make some fun plans. I will probably try my best to take it easy. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday for an ultrasound and cervix check. Then I will be seen every Monday to be checked until I hit 37 weeks. Around September 13th, I will have an amnio to confirm that Brooklyn's lungs are fully developed, then we can induce! On one hand, 4 weeks seems like forever, but then again, I have been pregnant for over 32. Until then, I am making a to-do list of things that have to be done before she is born. I am going to wait until after my baby shower next weekend to wash clothes or anything, but the list is in existence and we know what needs to be done. I don't want to have it all done too early, because I don't want Brooklyn thinking we are ready for her! I figure 2 weeks before my scheduled induction is good enough.

 I can do this.