It can always get worse...

That is what I have to keep telling myself. Over and over. A lot has happened in the past 2 weeks. Last Monday, I ended up getting the PICC line to administer the IV antibiotics that I needed for my infection. I kind of assumed it would be a scary procedure, but I really wasn't expecting what I got.

First of all, I brought Steven and my mom because I was very scared. I assumed I would be able to have at least one of them in the room. I was wrong. It was pretty much an operating room, with an Xray and ultrasound machine. I had to lay on a cold, hard metal table and they strapped my arm down with blue cloths. They covered my belly with a heavy lead vest and took Xrays and ultrasounds of my arm before injecting me with a local anesthetic that really didn't work very well. Then, they inserted the gigantic needle for the PICC. Once it was in, they did another Xray just to ensure that it was in properly and almost to my heart, then stitched it to my inner arm. I was scared, it was painful, and I was on the verge of tears from beginning to end.

After the line was in, I had to get my 1st dose of the 7 day antibiotic. The nurse said the arm would be tender for about 2 days or so, then I wouldn't feel a thing. Well, she was wrong. It began bruising about 2 days after I got it, and it is still very very uncomfortable...9 days later. It is interrupting my sleep, showers, and pretty much every aspect of my daily life. The antibiotic made me very sick...I was unable to eat for 3 days. I called the doctor to see when I could get the line removed and the nurse said that the doctor talked to my OB and they may have me leave it in for the remainder of my pregnancy "just in case" I develop another infection. I am livid! First off, nobody asked me how I was feeling. I was told before the line was put in that it was for a 7 day cycle of antibiotics. They don't take into consideration the fact that my arms are all I have. I am unable to use my legs and my hands to do things...like pick Carter up. I only have so much precious time left with him as my only child, and I am unable to lift him or play with him like I used to. It is not at all worth it to me to have this PICC in "just in case". 

Another big issue with it is that Steven had to take time off of work because I am now unable to care for Carter by myself. What was supposed to be a week could now turn into 20 weeks...making it impossible for him to work before the baby arrives. We need that income...it really isn't possible for us to raise 2 children on the small amount I bring in from my SSI and photography jobs here and there. 

These are all such huge stresses I am dealing with. I am trying my best to stay calm because I know the stress can be detrimental to my pregnancy, but it is virtually impossible. I just want some good news. I will find out by Monday if my infection has cleared, then I will be discussing my options with both doctors. I want them to know exactly what I feel and what I've been going through...since they apparently don't care to ask.

As always, prayer needed. I am so very thankful for each and every one!