4th of July - Photo Post

We had a blast this week! Wednesday, we kicked off our festivities with a parade by my mom's house. Steven worked until 2:30, but we were able to have a cookout afterward. Thursday, there was a Mardi Gras parade in Fairport, the town I went to high school in. Its a really big deal...something the whole community looks forward to all year. I watched with my mom at my aunt's house with Brooklyn, while Steven and Carter spent the evening with their BFFs. Friday, we went down to Mardi Gras, which is really just a big carnival on the beach. The kids rode a few rides and played a few games. They had a great time. After that, we took a trip out to the country for a picnic. It was absolutely beautiful! Saturday, I had lunch with my girlfriends, then we hung out and had some friends over for the UFC fight. Yesterday, we went shopping during the day, then it was back into Fairport for fireworks...which ended up being cancelled due to high winds. That was disappointing, but it was a great week!

Who am I??

I am watching last night's episode of Push Girls on Sundance Channel. If you haven't seen it yet, I urge you to check it out. These girls are amazing and absolutely gorgeous in every sense of the word! This week, they are talking about Stem Cell treatment and how everybody deals with being paralyzed differently. I often think about these things, but I have never blogged about how I really feel about who I am. The past 13 years has been a roller coaster of ups and downs for me.

As most of you know, I was in a car accident in 1999 that left my paralyzed pretty much from the neck down. After having spinal fusion surgery, I regained use of my arms, but my finger movement has pretty much remained the same...I don't have much. My arm movement has changed tremendously. I can remember being in the hospital and all I wanted to do was surprise my dad on Father's Day by being able to bring my right hand up to touch my nose. That was the 1st of many goals I have set for myself since then.

At first, I was angry. I remember sitting home trying to figure out ways to get someone to leave my Percocet bottle where I could reach it...all I could think about was ending my suffering. I felt like I was a burden on everyone in my life...my independence was taken from me in the blink of an eye. For a teenage girl that was preparing to graduate and start her own life, that is not an easy pill to swallow...no pun intended. 

The first 2 years were hell. Everything, physically and emotionally, was a struggle. I cried constantly. Then Steven came along and turned my whole world upside down. He made me realize that there's not much in this world I can't do as long as I believe in myself. The past 11 years have made me OK with who I am now. 

So, who am I now? 

I can tell you that I am happy. I know that due to my accident, I have been given opportunities that I wouldn't have otherwise had. I am exactly where I wanted to be at 30 years old. I own a home, a nice car, the bills are being paid, and I feel secure that the stability won't change. I have an amazing husband who is truly my other half and two beautiful children that challenge me physically (in a good way) every day. I am able to be a stay-at-home mom, which most people in my particular situation wouldn't be able to do. I am so blessed to be here with them every day, not missing one precious moment of their way-too-short childhoods. I can tell you that I am accepting of the life I have. That doesn't mean I don't want to walk again. I would give anything to walk again...but I refuse to waste any more time on the outside looking in on my own life. I wasted too much time wishing things could be different, but they can't. So, I have had to learn to deal with things the way they are...and I have found that acceptance was the key to having a fulfilling life. Once I decided to be OK with the turns my life has taken, I was able to figure out new ways to do all of the things I did before. That has been a blessing in disguise. You can never truly appreciate something until it is almost taken from you. I look at life completely different now.

As far as Stem Cell treatment goes, this may be controversial, but I am all for it. This is something that I am literally wearing one shoe on each side of. On one side, I am paralyzed. I live every day in a wheelchair. As I said, I would give anything to walk again. On the flip side, I have 7 frozen embryos from our IVF cycle. To me, they are babies...they are life. However, I am quite positive that I am done having children. Someday, I may have the choice to use them to help me walk again. I can't tell you that I am 100% sure I would say "yes", if given the opportunity...but I can understand why others would. Let me clarify...I do not think embryos should be made and killed for the sole purpose of extracting stem cells. But, as in my case, where the embryos are already here, I think it is at the discretion of the parents to decide how they are used. I definitely don't think they should be thrown in the trash, like many unused embryos are.

OK...I hate that subject. Its too scientific for me. But I realized that I have never spoken about where I stand with it. It may be ballsy for me to even bring it up, especially in the world of infertility...but I am also speaking as a woman who spends every moment of her life in a wheelchair. I do have sympathy for those who cannot have children and I know donating my embryos is always an option. I honestly do not know what I will do with them at this moment...I guess that's a bridge I will cross when I get there. I trust that God will speak to my heart and help me make the right decision for myself, my family, and others involved. No matter what, it is not a decision I will make lightly.

So, that's who I am. I am just like every other woman in this world who wants to be everything she can for her family. So, I will continue to fight for that with every breath in my body. Quitting is no longer an option and not in my nature. All I can do is move forward and be thankful for everything I have. I hope I can inspire others to do the same...because you just never know what tomorrow may bring.

Pretty Bianca

Our dog Bianca takes all sorts of "torture" (they don't actually torture her...but you can tell she doesn't know what to do sometimes.) from the kids. They are constantly kissing her, hugging her way too hard, chasing her, teasing her, playing with her ears, etc.

I assume she secretly loves it...

A day in the life...3 years later.

I have come a long way since Carter was a baby. In January of 2009, I blogged this post...about a day in my life as a disabled mother. I was thinking about the things I refused to even try back then and the lack of credit I gave myself by not even attempting. All I can do is throw my head back and laugh at how I could never get away with that now.

So, here is my new and revised "A day in the life"...

I still get up when Steven leaves for work at 6 a.m. because I like to use my morning time wisely. Instead of him helping me to the couch, I go directly to my wheelchair. Sometimes I watch TV or read while drinking my mandatory minimum of 1 cup of coffee. I no longer have a nurse, so there's nobody to help me in the morning. I try to be quiet so the kids can sleep. Carter usually strolls out around 7 o' clock and we cuddle for awhile before I get his breakfast. Brookie follows him around 7:30ish. I get her from her crib, take off her nighttime diaper, let her pee, then change her out of her jammies and get her underwear/day clothes on. While she is eating breakfast, I usually change Carter's clothes, unless he says he wants to stay in pajamas. We watch TV or play until I start lunch at about 11:30. After lunch, Brookie goes potty and I put her in a Pull-up for nap time. She goes in first, I tuck her in, then I bring Carter to his room and get him settled for nap.

Nap time is when I really get to work. As soon as I'm sure they're asleep, I throw in laundry, pick up toys, load the dishwasher, and do any other housework that needs to be done. In the rare event that I have time left before they wake up, I try catching up on DVRed shows or I get on Facebook and nose around in everyone else's business. 50% of the time, the kids wake up before 2:45, which is when Steven gets home. 

When he walks in, he takes a shower, gets dressed, and I sometimes use that time to shower myself before we run any errands that we need to get done...since I can't get out of the house by myself without help. If our agenda is clear, we go outside and hang out until dinner. Steven is an amazing cook, so he is in charge of that. After dinner, he takes the kids and gets them in the tub while I clear the table/counters/load the dishwasher. I hurry up and get their pajamas together so he has them ready after their bath. When they are done, they play for awhile and wind down before we take them in to brush their teeth...then they go to bed.

Once the kids are in bed, I finish any cleaning or laundry that is still in progress. I usually sit in the living room and watch TV or read before heading to bed. Then its off to sleep...and it starts all over in the morning. 

I can't believe I ever got by doing less than I do now. How is this place even still standing? I look back and can't help but have a sense of pride at how far I have come and all of the new things I have had to throw myself into being a wife and mother of 2. Its never easy...but they are my motivation. There are still some things I can't do and wish I could, but that list is a lot shorter than it was 3 years ago...and my goal is to one day eliminate it completely. Until then, I will continue to do as best as I can with what I have been given. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Vacation and Potty Training

Steven had off last weekend, so we made a quick trip to visit our family in New York. My brother's girlfriend's baby shower was Saturday...and I was so glad I got to go. We got in on Friday night and immediately went to visit some friends. After we did that, we went for drinks with Steven's cousin Angie, who my kids refer to as "Bange". We decided that we would try to hang with the younger crowd and stayed out until sunrise. That made for quite an interesting day on Saturday. We were exhausted!! After the baby shower, we had dinner with my brothers-in-law, father-in-law, and sister-in-law (who just happens to be my BFFE!!). Sunday we spent the day by the pool and then made a stop at my dad's before heading home. It was a nice trip, but it was way too short.

Brookie lounging in the pool.

My little froggie.

Daddy pushing the princess around in the water.

...and I had absolutely no idea what was going on around me.

We got home Sunday night and went straight to bed. Monday morning, Brooklyn woke up and decided to be potty trained. No, I'm not exaggerating. We decided after the struggle we had with Carter that we were not going to push potty training of any kind on Brooklyn. We figured she would let us know when she was ready. Well, she sure did! She still wakes up wet in the morning, so she's in diapers at night, but she wears undies all day and has only had 1 accident all week. I have to say, I'm a pretty proud mommy!!

Yesterday, we went and traded Steven's car in for a new (well, new-to-us) truck. He has wanted one forever, but we have never been able to afford it. He has been working his butt off, so its about time he had something of his own to show for it. I couldn't be happier for him. I am so thankful for everything he has had to give up in the past to care for me...it feels good to know that he's finally able to do something for himself.

As always, I'm feeling blessed beyond measure with this family of mine! It gets better with every passing day.

Best Friends!!

(I had some time to make a new layout today while the kids were napping. Like?)

What We've Been Up To...

Wow! Its been 3 months since my last post! That is awful!! But its been a good reflection of how much free time I have these days! Steven started a new job and I decided to try being a Stay-at-Home Mom by myself. Since my car accident in 1999 (which left me paralyzed, for those of you who don't know.), I have had someone caring for me at all times. After my last nurse left in January, while Steven was unemployed, I decided to forgo in-home health care. I just don't feel like I need it. Yes, I am in a wheelchair. Yes, my finger dexterity is extremely limited. But I haven't let my disability hold me back from much...this is no different. If you had told me 2 years ago that I would be caring for 2 young children all day, by myself, while running a household, with no nurse...I wouldn't have believed you. I guess thats what makes me feel so good. They're my children. I should be the one caring for them. I haven't felt this independent and free for a very long time. And I enjoy every moment I have with my beautiful children.

Carter is now 3 1/2 and is Daddy's boy through and through. They look alike, they talk alike, they walk alike. He loves fishing and going outside. The "treacherous threes" are in full swing! One minute, he's sitting watching his favorite show, Team Umizoomi...the next minute he's running around at full speed, screaming, chasing the dog. He loves making funny faces and always tries to make everybody laugh. He has really been the man of the house while daddy is at work. He is always taking care of his sister and making sure mommy has enough cuddles. He brightens my world every day. 

Miss Brooklyn is a mini-mama. I couldn't have pre-ordered a more perfect baby. She is the daughter I dreamed about when I was a little girl. She's girly, dramatic, and loves everything I love. She has continued doing her pageants, which is fun for us both. The most fun we have is practicing her routines. She loves doing it! Most of the time, she ends up forgetting everything on stage, but we have so much fun practicing for it! These days, Brookie is a major chatterbox. She says way more than she should at her age. Yesterday, she told me "Mommy. I want ketchup." I said "OK...with what?" She goes "Ketchup with french fries." She definitely knows what she wants. My beautiful little diva.

So, that's what we've been up to! I will try to post more. I do love blogging. Its a great outlet...that's why I started to begin with. I may take long breaks, but I will never stay away! 

Long Overdue Update!

Its been awhile since I blogged. I am not sure I have ever gone this long!! 

Of course, a lot has happened in the past 2 1/2 months. We had a great Christmas and New Years. Carter is finally completely potty trained...its been a few months since he had an accident. He also recently finished a "Children's Day Out" program at the YMCA where he got to be with other kids his age, do art projects, swim, etc. He really enjoyed it and will begin swimming lessons next week. He is such a cool kid...he makes me laugh and is the most affectionate child in the whole world. He is full of kisses and love all of the time. 

Is he not the coolest?!

Brooklyn won her 2nd pageant last month. This past weekend, we travelled from Ohio to New York so she could participate in a larger one, called the "Enchanted Fairytale Pageant". There were 3 modeling categories: "Beauty", "Outfit of Choice", and "Fairytale Wear". We also entered her in the Photogenic and Composite categories. She did an awesome job! At the end of the day, she won "Fairytale Wear", "Most Photogenic", and was crowned Queen of her division! We are very proud of her!

Beauty

Outfit of Choice

Fairytale Wear

She was so exhausted that she slept through crowning!

This was the first picture we got with her and her winnings.

Here is some of the video footage of Brooklyn as well as some 

snippets of the other girls in her age division...

Steven and I are doing great. We are still trying to sell our house in hopes of moving back to New York, but so far we haven't seen much action. We are definitely praying and just trying to leave it all up to God. That always seems to work for us!

I will definitely try to keep up with blogging a little bit better than I have been. Keeping up with the husband, house, and kids can be a little bit crazy...but I wouldn't want it any other way!!!

Part of the Family

We had a pretty traumatic night here this past Thursday. It made me realize that our family would truly fall apart if we had to be without one very important member...

It was about 5:30 and Steven had to run to the grocery store for some rice. Shortly after he left, our Boxer, Bianca, started ringing the bell on our back doorknob. That is what she does when she has to go potty. As I opened the door, before I could even think twice, she darted out the door. I didn't freak out over it, since she generally doesn't go very far. I called for her about a minute later and she didn't come. I started to get kind of worried, because it was dark and I couldn't see or hear her. I was afraid she had left our yard. After about 10 minutes, Steven came busting in the door yelling "I just hit Bianca! Oh my God!" At first, I thought he meant that she ran in front of the car in the driveway. He was panicking and searching all over for a flashlight since it was pitch black out. He kept running outside and yelling for her, then coming back in, unable to locate a flashlight.

I called my mom and told her we needed to borrow hers and to hurry up because it was an emergency. Steven explained that he was coming down our road and Bianca jumped out and he hit her going about 15mph. She immediately ran off and he couldn't really see which way she went. My mom arrived quickly with a flashlight and they both split up and went searching. Steven walked and she drove in her car.

After almost 3 hours, Steven came back home. He was alone. I automatically began crying. It was just too dark, so he decided he would go back out as soon as the sun came up. We tried to figure out what we would tell Carter when he asked where his dog was. I spent the next few hours pacing back and forth from window to window, occasionally opening the door and yelling her name. We decided that we would have to sleep in shifts, so that one of us was up in case Bianca came home. I went to bed and Steven stayed up. All I could do was cry thinking about her dying all by herself in the woods...or being hurt and unable to move. It was very cold outside and she is used to sleeping all snuggled up with us.

A few hours after I went into my room, Steven came in. I could tell he was ready to cry. All he said was "I killed my dog." I tried to comfort him, telling him that it wasn't his fault. It was an accident. I started crying again, too. I wasn't sure how we would function as a family without Bianca. We've had her since she was 10 weeks old...she was with us before the kids were born. He went back to the living room and I finally fell asleep.

About an hour later, Steven came busting in the door yelling "Can!! Wake up!!" I felt a big thud in the bed next to me. I ripped the covers off of my head and there was our precious girl! She was home!! After we all calmed down, we noticed that her paw was pretty messed up and swollen.

My sister-in-law works at a vet's office...thank God we have her!! It turns out that there are no broken bones...just a few bad scrapes. She is on Tramadol for 5 days for the pain and she is doing great! At first, she was hobbling around on 3 paws, but now she is walking on it normally. We were told to clean it with peroxide just in case of infection, but other than that, she is good to go! I am so thankful that she is ok.

Honestly, I always complain that Bianca is so hyper and jumps all over the place, but when I see how happy we make her...and how happy she makes us, I see that nothing else really matters. She is part of our family and we wouldn't be the same without her.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas!

The Butchino household is in the Christmas spirit!! With less than 3 weeks to go, I am proud to say that not only am I done shopping for the kids, but 95% of their presents are wrapped!! Last year, I remember frantically wrapping at the kitchen table with Steven on Christmas Eve after the kids were in bed. I decided I didn't want to be stressed on Christmas Eve this year, so I took my time over a few days and got it done. There are 2 more gifts to wrap, but I am waiting for them to be delivered.

Both of the kids are sick right now. Poor Carter is an absolute mess. He woke up coughing and crying last night and I knew we were in for a doozy. I feel awful for him. And of course there isn't much I can do other than give him medicine and cuddle him as much as possible. Brookie has it too, but not nearly as bad...which I am thankful for since there aren't many options as far as medicine for her. I just hope they're both feeling better in time for our annual family Christmas party on Saturday. Prayers needed! In the meantime, we are still trying to keep the Christmas cheer going with them. Lots of decorations, music, and activities. Hopefully they can still enjoy them.

We have a very special addition to our family this Christmas. He is our very own Elf on the Shelf. If you have one, you know that naming them is a very important thing and it is the 1st order of business upon your elf's arrival. I asked Brooklyn what she wanted to name our elf. Her answer was "Seven, eight, nine." I said, "Well, that's kind of long...how about just Seven? Carter, do you like the name Seven for our elf?" He said, "I would like to call him Seven Baby Elf." I said "OK...but we can call him Seven for short." Our elf is a mischievous little guy. Look what he did to my countertops tonight!!

I hope you are all enjoying this wonderful holiday season as much as we are! Don't forget to take a time-out from the busy hustle and bustle to look around and be thankful for each and every blessing in your life. No matter how crazy things get this time of year, I always remember how lucky I am to have such a wonderful family to share it with! Happy Holidays!!

iPhone Photos and Carter's Birthday Party! Picture Post!!

I haven't posted in awhile, so I figured I would upload some photos from my iPhone to update you on the kiddos!!

Minnie and Mickey, ready to Trick or Treat. They had a blast!!

Steven took Carter into the woods to hunt for the 1st time.

Its a little too early, though! He couldn't keep quiet!!

Brookie loves tutus. She will twirl around and dance 

in them every time we put one on her. 

And she really likes to make this face a lot. Too funny!!

Carter's Kyle Busch themed birthday party was a raging success and we had a great time! I made the Pit Pass invitations and Steven and I made the cake by ourselves... 

And here are some photos that my mother-in-law took during the party. I wasn't able to even get my camera out that day! I was a busy bee!!

After the party, my mother-in-law, the kids' Godmother, and us all went to Max & Erma's, which is our favorite restaurant. Carter and Brookie had to check out the lion made of of solid wood in the lobby while we were waiting for our table!!

Today, we are just enjoying a lazy Sunday before the craziness that each Monday brings!! I am so thankful that we have been so blessed and that we have each other!! I couldn't think of anywhere else I would rather be than at home with Steven, Carter, and Brooklyn! <3 Have a great week!!