God Blessed The Broken Road...

We are back in NY this weekend. My dad was having his annual deck party on Saturday, but got called into work, so he had to cancel. Last week, I read my essay in church and promised I would sing this Sunday. We decided to come to NY anyway...the congregation would have been crushed had I not sang. For some reason, they enjoy it when I sing, LOL. It is my gift...the least I can do is share it. As a "part 2" to my essay, I sang "Bless The Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts. It is a very special song to me because Steven and I chose it as the 1st dance at our wedding reception. As my life continues to unfold, that song just keeps playing over and over. I had a rough road, but God certainly knew what He had planned for me and I am so blessed. I looked over at Steven when I was singing and it brought tears to my eyes. I am so thankful for what my boys give to me every day.

We will be heading home tomorrow with our new lawn tractor in tow. Then its back to my wonderful every day life...but now with lots of homework since I started Summer courses last week. I could use some prayers...they always get me through!

I will post new pics and video when I can.

10 Years Later.

We are going to NY this weekend, so I thought I'd better post while I have the time. We will be coming home late Monday, so I will be pretty tired Tuesday.

Tuesday marks the 10 year anniversary of the car accident that left me paralyzed. I wrote an essay about my life since, which I will be reading in church on Sunday. It is long and maybe a little boring, but I wanted to share it with my internet family. Words cannot express what all of your love and encouragement has meant to me. Thank you.

10 Years Later
by: Candice Butchino

May 26, 1999. It was the day that changed my life. It started out as any other day. I was an 11th grade student that had no cares and no responsibility. Like most other high schoolers, I thought I was invincible. By the end of that day, I would be proven wrong. At 3 o’ clock, I chose to go for a joyride with a classmate in his brand new Ford Mustang. It seemed harmless. About 15 minutes later, I lay upside down, suspended by my seatbelt in a pile of wreckage that was unrecognizable as the sports car it once was. At that time, I chose to make my peace with God. I couldn’t move my arms and legs. I was going to die. God had other plans for me. Plans that were much bigger than I could’ve understood at that moment in my life.

I arrived at the hospital and was taken to surgery as my friends and family prayed for my life. My broken neck was fused and a halo vest was screwed into my skull to ensure that I would not move. Shortly after, I regained a small amount of movement in my arms. That was such a giant step. I was still very naïve and thought I would be back to my normal active self in a few weeks. It was just a broken bone…it would heal.

After 90 grueling days in the hospital, I was sent home. I was wheelchair bound and literally thought my life had stopped in its tracks. My mom was such a wonderful blessing. She was with me every hour of every day. I was still optimistic about my chances of walking. After all, the doctors did give me 2 years to regain movement. I had plenty of time.

In the next year, I graduated high school and devoted myself to physical therapy. I worked very hard every day. I did, however, give up on my social life. I felt that nobody would really want to hang out with me, especially boys. I convinced myself that nobody could possibly love me the way I was. I tried to accept it, but still longed to be loved. I just thought that was something I had to live with now.

The 2nd year came and went. May 26, 2001 was a very hard day for me. Time was up. It was officially a thought in my head that I may never walk again. Things changed that day. My mind became very jaded and negative as I began to prepare myself to give up on everything I had dreamed of as a child. I would never accept a beautiful diamond from my dream man as he took 1 knee and asked me to be his wife. I would never wear that beautiful white gown and take his breath as the church doors opened. I would never feel my unborn baby move in my tummy. I would never experience the unconditional love that is given from a child. As much as it broke my heart, I had to face these realities. It would be a true miracle if I would ever see these things in my future.

In June of 2001, Steven came to visit me with a friend. I knew from the beginning that I was experiencing true love, which could only mean 1 thing…true heartbreak was in my near future. Right away, I tried putting walls up…and began thinking of ways to push him away so I wouldn’t fall for him any further. For some reason, each challenge I put in front of him he tackled like it was no big deal. He made sure that I knew that my disability was of absolutely no concern to him, nor did he find it to be a burden. He always made sure I would experience all the things that I may have not experienced before he was a part of my life. In true high school fashion, Steven asked me to be his girlfriend on July 31, 2001. Although I was happy, I was still very scared, and even convinced, that he would not stick around for long.

Before I knew it, year 2 was over. I prayed every night that God would keep Steven in my life. On July 30, 2002, all of my childhood dreams began coming true. While out for our 1st anniversary dinner, Steven took 1 knee and gave me the diamond I used to imagine when I was a little girl. I was not sure of the future, but I knew that I would be sharing it with someone that God put in my life to be my strength and carry me through the rough parts.

On November 25, 2006, I put on my beautiful white gown and took a moment to pray in the church bathroom. I thanked God for not giving up on me. I thanked him for being there even when I wished he would go away. But mostly, I thanked him for the angel he had sent for me…the angel that was about to become my husband. With shaking hands and tear filled eyes, I was taken down the aisle by my mom and dad. I will never forget that day. I didn’t know it then, but the photographer had snapped a picture of Steven as the church doors opened for me to come down the aisle. His face was more than I could’ve ever imagined in my dreams.

The next year proved to be very tough on us. We had talked so much about having a family, we just wanted it to be on our own time. When we were ready, we expected that it would just happen. After a year of disappointment, we decided to see a specialist. Those appointments were always filled with bad news. Every test came back with a few more cards that were stacked against us. Not only did we have problems conceiving, but if we ever did, a uterine defect would make it very hard for me to carry a baby long enough for it to survive. We prayed about it many times and God just kept telling me not to give up. So I fought and prayed that I would someday give birth to a strong healthy baby. There were times when I felt that maybe God had a different plan for me than I had for myself. I somehow always felt that He was giving me the strength I needed to keep trying.

On October 29, 2008, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy with 10 fingers, 10 toes, and the cutest lips I had ever seen. The only problem was that he wasn’t due until December 19th. Almost 2 months premature, Carter John Butchino came into the world fighting. At only 3 pounds, 14 ounces, he had a long road ahead of him. For the next 2 weeks, we prayed and prayed that we would be able to bring our baby home. Each day, I would drive 30 miles to spend the day with him in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. Doctors were amazed at Carter’s development. Every day, he grew bigger and stronger. I will never forget the nurse’s words when I arrived at the NICU on November 13th. “You can bring Carter home tomorrow.” I just picked him up and cried as I told him how proud I was to be his mommy. The next day, as we arrived at home and placed Carter in his crib, I silently thanked God. I thanked him for the strength he gave all 3 of us to get to that very moment. After all we had been through and all the storms we had weathered, my life was everything I had ever dreamed…and so much more.

So, as I sit here 10 years later, I can say that I wouldn’t change any of the events that have happened in my life. I have built such a special relationship with God and I know that He was there with me every step of the way. People often ask me if I could go back to May 26, 1999 and choose to take the other road in life, would I? To them it may seem complex or maybe even stupid, but my answer is no. I was blessed with a wonderful mother that took care of me even when I wished she would just go away forever. Her love and devotion to me has made me the mother I am today. I was blessed with a husband that never let the rough times get me down. He has been there to make me laugh, even through the worst of times. I was blessed with a perfect son that has his daddy’s nose and my attitude. These have all given me reasons to believe that these last 10 years were all worth it.

Most people consider “witnessing a miracle” to be something they want to do before they die. What I hope to achieve with my story is to let the world know that miracles happen every day. All you have to do is pray and know that with God, all things are possible…and when life hands you lemons, make some lemonade!

Diapees n Wipees

We finally broke down this weekend and bought a BJ's membership. Diapers and Wipes are so much cheaper there...not to mention everything else. We stocked up on batteries as well...my camera and camcorder are always dead when I need them. I have rechargables, but sometimes I need a second set...disposable batteries are better for that.

While we were at BJ's, I also got all my school supplies. I can't believe classes start in 9 days! I am just so nervous about how I will handle being a SAHM and a student. Please pray for me. Luckily, only 2 of the 4 courses I need to graduate are offered over the summer. So, I will be taking "Mass Media and the Law" and "Programs, Programming, and Affects". They shouldn't be too difficult. Then, next semester, I have 2 general education courses and I will be a free woman!! Yayyy!!

Thursday night, I hit a giant milestone. Steven had gone to basketball, leaving Carter and I alone. After about 1 hour, I started to smell something...coming from Carter's diaper! I thought to myself "Oh no. I can't change him by myself. What do I do?" I did what any mother would've done. I got over the "I can't" and I changed him...all by myself! About an hour later, he pooped again...so I changed him again!! This is such a big deal because it was the only thing my disability stopped me from doing for Carter in the past. He was so good and so patient with me. I am proud of us both! Now I know we can handle anything together!!

Here are a few recent pics of the Carterman...

Eating Foofa.

He loves trying to feed himself.
Here he is after applesauce and a cookie.

Before his 1st walk in the stroller.

After his first walk in the stroller! Knocked out!

My 1st Mother's Day

Blessed.

That is the only word I can use to describe yesterday. Just having a beautiful healthy baby boy was enough for me, but Steven and Carter went way above and beyond for me. I woke up to a card from each of them. Then I got a handprint in clay that they did together. Steven did all the housework and mowed the lawn. I got to shower as long as I wanted to and relax all day! It was awesome!! I am so thankful that I have these beautiful boys in my life. I only hope I can continue to be the mom and wife they deserve.

My Mother's Day gift!

Love them so much!

Morning cuddle session!

Mommy the Scholar

I just got the official re-acceptance email from my old college, SUNY Oswego!! When Steven and I got married and bought our house in Ohio, I was 2 semesters shy of my bachelors in Broadcasting and Mass Communications with a minor in Spanish. I made the not-so-smart decision to quit school and move out of state.

A few weeks ago, I emailed admissions just out of curiosity. I got an email today that everything I need to graduate is offered online. I have been emailing back and forth all day getting everything in order. I start classes on May 26th and should be all done by Christmas!

I am so excited. I worked so hard in college...now I know it wasn't for nothing.

Carter says hi!

Jumpy jump jump...

(The title is from a Yo Gabba Gabba song...that show runs my life.) Here is a video of Carter doing what he does best.

(He always makes that face when he concentrates.)

Everything is mommyhood is great. Carter gets bigger every day and has gotten very good at yelling "mom!" when he feels that my attention has strayed from him at all. It is actually very cute. Today we went to Toys R Us to get Carter's friend Niko a birthday present. They share a Yo Gabba Gabba obsession and I made the mistake of showing Carter one of the few YGG toys he doesn't have. He smiled, reached for it, and put it straight in his mouth as if to say "thanks mom...its mine now because I marked it with my spit." So...I bought it. Had to. You try telling him no.

This weekend is going to be a busy one. Now that the weather is nice, we need to get outside and fix up the lawn. And by "we", I mean "Steven"...since I can't. I will be there to supervise and make sure everything looks good. We also have to go back to TRU because their infant's jeans are on clearance and Carter really needs some. Hopefully Steven and I can get some alone time in the next 2 days...sometimes I feel like we are strangers. There is always so much to do, and when we have downtime, we kinda want to do things for ourselves. I don't think we intentionally do it, but we often put our marriage on the back burner. I wouldn't trade my life for the world though...I love my boys and I am so blessed!

Hope everyone has an awesome weekend!!

6 Months Old.

Carter is 6 months old today. As happy as it makes me to see him hit new milestones, I am sad. This time is just flying by. I promised myself that I would hold him and play with him for every second of his babyhood...but it isn't by any means "slowing down time". I am really going to miss these days, but I thank God that I can look back at them saying "I was there for every minute."

It Won't Be Like This For Long
by: Darius Rucker

He didn't have to wake up
He'd been up all night
Layin’ there in bed listenin’
To his new born baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says
It gonna be OK

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon we'll look back laughin’
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
‘Cause it won't be like this for long

Four years later ‘bout 4:30
She's crawling in their bed
And when he drops her off at preschool
She's clinging to his leg
The teacher peels her off of him
He says what can I do
She says now don't you worry
This’ll only last a week or two

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon you'll drop her off
And she won’t even know you're gone
This phase is gonna fly by
If you can just hold on
It won’t be like this for long

Some day soon she'll be a teenager
And at times he'll think she hates him
Then he'll walk her down the aisle
And he'll raise her veil
But right now she's up and cryin’
And the truth is that he don't mind
As he kisses her good night
And she says her prayers

He lays down there beside her
‘Til her eyes are finally closed
And just watchin’ her it breaks his heart
Cause he already knows

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
Yeah, this phase is gonna fly by
So, he's tryin’ to hold on

‘Cause it won’t be like this for long

It won’t be like this for long.

Every morning when I wake up...

(Notice how he is completely upside-down in his crib...and his onesie is inside out. Steven was so tired when he dressed him that he didn't even notice!)

2009 March for Babies

The walk was great! There were thousands of people there, many of them with beautiful preemies of their own. All together, we were able to raise $330 for Team Carter!! The walk was 4 miles...all of which my wonderful lovely perfect husband walked, pushing Carter and me. I swear the thing was uphill both ways! Did I say that my husband is awesome?? The walk went right through Browns Stadium...and that could set a Steelers fan on fire...but he did it nonetheless! Carter slept for about 1 mile or so. Maybe I should've slept, too! Anyway, we had a blast and we are very proud of ourselves. I got very emotional because many people were there in memory of their babies...we were there in honor of ours. It could've been the other way around and I am just so thankful to God for giving Carter the strength he needed to survive. I am so blessed and proud to be his mommy. We will be making this walk a family tradition every year.

Here are some pictures of the day. Steven also got video of me crying but I am not posting it. He thought I was crying because Kmart raised $17 million, but I wasn't. I was just having an emotional moment because a little boy walked by wearing a shirt that said "In Memory of My Twin". That was very sad, so I started crying...at the same time the emcee announced that Kmart had raised $17 million. Steven is sticking to his story...I'm sticking to mine ;)

Getting ready to go into the ampitheatre.

Team Carter 2009

Me and my preemie!

Now do you see why we call him "Mini-Me"
He is a spitting image of Steven!

I just love those big blue eyes!

My big boy!

Team Carter

I went to Michael's today to see if they had iron-on stuff to make t-shirts for Steven, Carter, and me for the March of Dimes walk this weekend. I didn't really want transfers that you print on from the computer because I think they look cheesy and they usually peel right off after one wash. I was very excited when I went down their iron-on aisle...everything was on sale!! So...I got t-shirts for Steven and me and a long-sleeved onesie for Carter. Then, I cleaned them out of pink and blue block letters! It was actually kinda fun. I got to be creative. I decided to put Carter's gestational age when he was born so people can recognize him as a preemie...plus I am just so proud of how far he has come in just 6 short but wonderful months.

Here are our shirts. We will be one stylin' family this Sunday!

If you would like to help, you can sponsor our walk by going to http://marchforbabies.org/mommy2carter. It is an excellent cause and I truly believe in their motto, that one day, all babies will be born healthy. Thank you for all of your support, whether you donate or not!

Easter baskets and basketballs...

My awesome husband just went out and got me one of those crazy USB cables with attachments in every size. I really love him...he knows me so well! Now I only have to keep track of one cord!!

Anyway, here are some of the pics from my camera...

Our loot after the Easter Bunny came.
He gets me a basket every year.

Carter's 1st Easter basket.

Before church on Easter.

Carter on Easter...all dressed up!

Carter's 1st walk.

Bailey came too. Yes, I'm wearing slippers.

Future Cavalier!

Just like everything else, right in the mouth!

That is what we've been up to! Hope you enjoyed them!

Because I knew you'd want to see it...

This year's birthday gift...

My camera wire is still missing, so Easter pics are still being held for ransom. The suspect is a blue Kodak, about 6" tall and weighing about 1/2 pound. If you have any information on this crime, please call 1-800-MOM-ARAZZI. Thank you.

Steven got me a digital camcorder for my birthday! I am super excited! Here is a video of...well, nothing much. This is a completely normal occurance at our house. Its what my boys do best. Notice that Carter found a new Gabba friend.

(Mommy is not quite a master videographer yet.)

207.

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of my positive beta.

I will NEVER get a better birthday present!

AHHHHHHH!

Its just been one of those days...where you know that it can't get any worse, then it does! Nothing serious...just very annoying! I would love to open a window and scream as loud as I can, then lock myself in a closet from the inside so nobody can find me!

Except, of course, for him.

All that really matters!

Every Little Bit Helps!

The March of Dimes Walk for Babies is coming up in 2 weeks!! Steven, Carter, and I are participating and we are in need of sponsors. If you are in a position to help at all, please go to my personal page to donate. Our goal is to raise at least $250 to help other families with sick or premature babies. Someday all babies will be born healthy...and this is how you can help the March of Dimes make this possibility a reality! Thank you!!

Boo! Scared you!!

Here I am! Did you think I was dead?! Actually, I told you all that I wanted to play hide & seek...well, I hid...you never seeked! LOL, j/k...but here I am.

The past couple weeks have been super hectic. Carter is teething, but no teeth have cut yet...he's miserable. And on top of that, he woke up today with a cold. He's sniffling and stuffy. Poor guy. I am praying that he feels better soon. Then maybe we could get some sleep, too!

Last week, my mother-in-law came to visit from Wednesday to Sunday. It was nice because she gave us a lot of relief and I was able to read the 1st half of New Moon. Yes, I am now officially dating Edward Cullen. Steven doesn't mind. Anyway, After she left, we had to go Mon-Thurs...then we were off to NY. My dad paid for our trip because he wanted to see Carter. So, we spent Friday and most of Saturday there, then went to my mother-in-laws. We left late Sunday night to come home.

Today, I drove halfway back to NY to pick up Steven's little brother so he could spend Spring Break with us. He will be here until next Sunday...then we will bring him back halfway and meet my mother-in-law to make the old switcheroo. We do it often. It isn't as bad as it sounds. Its about 2 hours and 15 minutes for me...which I drove alone today. I must say, it was the most relaxing alone time I have had since October!

So...that's what I have been up to. My camera cord is MIA, so here is an oldie but goodie...my last preggo pic...

Me and my mama about 3 days before I popped!

1 whole year...

Carter and our other angel - 3/30/08

Carter was conceived exactly 1 year ago. On March 30, 2008, I had 17 eggs retrieved and 12 ICSIed. 3 days later, 2 of my beautiful embryos were given back to me. One of them went to heaven. I believe that my little angel knew that my body couldn't handle a multiple pregnancy. He loved his brother so much that he went to be with God so Carter could survive. I know it sounds dumb...but all of my embryos are my babies and I love them all. It is hard to think that 1 of them did not survive. I know that Carter has a special angel looking over him.

Walk it out...

We got Carter a walker last weekend and I must say that it is going better than expected! He knew exactly what to do when we put him in it and his little legs were just a-goin'! It wasn't until mommy came back down to earth and realized that he'd be able to move if his socks weren't making him slip and slide all over. So...after removing his socks, he took off. I can't believe that he can do it so well at 5 months old!! And of course the momarazzi caught it on camera!

Cruisin'

"Outta my way!"

My poor baby is teething right now...and we just found out that he has a little ear infection. The doctor said it would probably go away on its own, but decided that it would be best to put him on antibiotics, so he isn't more uncomfortable than he needs to be. He seems ok...just a little more cranky than normal. Thankfully, my mother-in-law is visiting from NY. She is a big help, along with my mom, of course.

Hangin' with Brobee in his seat.